


Necessary Mistake

by Mayly5000



Series: Necessary Mistake [1]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Background Relationships, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2018-11-30 02:00:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11453637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mayly5000/pseuds/Mayly5000
Summary: Raph finally has the guts to ask Master Splinter for some love advise but that might have just been a bad idea and now its up to his brothers to help him confess to his secret crush.





	1. Chaos

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old unfinished story of mine, I never really tried to finish it as I wasn't very happy with it, but I've finally managed to rewrite at least the first chapter. I hope you guys like it! please let me know what you think so I can rewrite the chapters and starts writing the ending!

**Necessary mistake**

(Raph)

Ok. I have done a lot of stupid shit in ma life, usually cuz I defy orders an let ma _‘temper’_ get tha better o me, say things I dun mean, aaaaan so on!

But this time it was supposed ta be different! I mean wasn’t it natural ta ask fer help when ya have a problem? Ya know, confide in someone an stuff?

I mean, I was only askin Sensei for some advice cuz I’ve been livin with this _‘feelin’_ fer a long time now an it’s been gettin worse specially tha last few days an I just couldn’t take it anymore!! I needed ta get this off ma chest! Ta get some’s advice, some pointers as ta what Imma supposed ta _‘do!‘._ And I knew there were a lot of reactions I coulda expect from this kinda confession, but… ta think my own fatha would go this far… did not even enter ma mind… I mean I expected em ta get mad or something like tha, but this? Nah, neva… so by tha time I told em, it had already been too late.

*  
*  
*  
(Leo)

 

Today has been a fairly normal day, well as far as you can consider us normal.

We had our morning training, ate breakfast, did our chores, goofed around and had gone on our nightly patrol. So, with nothing left to do we just went about what was left of our day by doing whatever we felt like doing.

For me that meant siting under the tree in the dojo as I try to Meditate and rethink on the events of our day, or couple days actually… Raph has been acting rather odd lately, even more so than usual I mean. He has been spacing off more than Mikey does, he even tripped over his own two feet! Twice!! And he managed to walk straight into an antenna while we were running arcos the rooftops today. Talk about being clumsy! That’s, well, Aprils job! 

“I’ve got ya now Donny!!” A loud battle cry boomed around the dojo as I hear Mike’s Kusarigama zip through the air and slam against Don’s bow with a Thunk. I had almost forgotten my two youngest brothers were sparring in here whilst I tried to meditate. 

Well I wouldn’t really say sparring as in practice, but more like trying to win a bet. It’s pretty well known the two of them hate training and avoid the dojo as much as they can. So, to have the two of them in here for a bet is pretty strange. Don and Mike had Apparently agreed that the loser would do the others chore for one day, I think? To be honest Though, I just think Mike is trying to get out of dojo clean-up tomorrow.

“I don’t think you will Mikey, I am pretty sure you will be the one to do my chore tomorrow!” There it is! Though I don’t know why Don would make that bet, he only has kitchen clean up and believe me, that is NOT a lot of work, at all. Mike strongly believes that food may never go to waste and dishes must get cleaned up immediately after dinner and what happens if you forget? Well, let’s just say Mikey does know how to be scary… 

My eyes suddenly snap open and I managed to move my head just in time to feel Donny’s bow staff zip past my face and slam against the tree trunk right besides my head. It bounces off my shoulder, clatters against the floor and gently rolls back against my knee, innocently resting there as if nothing happened.

All three of us blinked, looking at the bow with wide eyes before two pair of eyes snap towards me. I blinked dumbly and lifted my gaze towards my brothers wondering how they managed to nearly hit me in the face with a bow staff. I was about to ask said question when mike snapped out of his stupor, shook his head and looked at me in horror.

“Woah, Don you nearly killed him!” And before I knew what was happening, Mikey was behind my shell, arms around my neck and his cheek nuzzling the back of my head as if was about to die. Don merely seemed to look at him in irritation.

“I did not! That was entirely your fault! Besides, there was not enough force to do any actual damage, not to mention it is a blunt object and therefore cannot cause any lethal harm while merely flying through the air.” Don signed and seemed to count to ten, or a hundred, you never know. 

He scratched the back of his head and gave me a sheepish smile, quickly mumbling a small sorry while pointing his finger towards our youngest brother and mouthed _‘His fault’_. 

Said accused turtle finally released my neck and jumped back over to Don, poking a finger accusingly against his plastron and pouted.

“Yeah it can! Your bow totally has a knife thingy in there!” The orange turtle stopped for a second to think his accusation over and turned to frown at said bow, before he blinked and turned back towards his purple brother. “…Right?”

A look of surprise crossed Don’s expression before he slammed his hand against his own forehead in clear amazement at his brother. 

My eye twitched and I glared at the both of them. I mean seriously?! I was lucky enough to have been pulled out of my trance before that thing went flying or I could have actually hit me! I just wanted to meditate! 

I let my hand fall from its position on my knee and gently wrapped it around Don’s forgotten bow, silently moving it around so I could get a better grip on it.

“A knife thingy? Really Mikey? It’s a-“ 

**_TWAK!_ **

The bow had zoomed across the room and managed to hit both turtles against the cheek before helplessly tumbling back towards the floor.

Two green heads snapped towards me so fast I hardly saw them move, blinking at me as if trying to figure out exactly what I’d just done. I was still in my lotus position outside of my left arm that I had used to throw the bow across the dojo and was now aimlessly hanging in the air without said bow. 

They were frozen in shock, their eyes as big as dinner plates as they blinked and slowly shifted their eyes down to look at the bow laying innocently on the floor. 

“Looks like your right Donny, it really didn’t do much damage I probably should have used more force.” I shrugged my shoulders and smirked at their bewildered expressions, it didn’t last long though. The two of them growled before charging at me while yelling: “LEO!!”

I only had a second to push myself up from the floor and into the tree before my brothers could reach me. I managed to look down just in time to see Mikey slam into the tree trunk and Donny coming to a stop mere inches from doing the same. 

I couldn’t help but laugh as I watch Mike sit down and rub his forehead, a big pout already pointed at Don who merely covered his mouth, trying to stifle his own laugh. Mike glared at the both of us before succumbing to his own laughter. 

I deemed it safe to jump down from my perch after we all managed to stop laughing and offered my hand to my baby brother so I could help him back up onto his feet. I quickly examined his forehead just in case he’d injured himself and smiled as I saw no damage outside of a small bruise. 

Mike lightly punched my shoulder in revenge and stuck out his tongue before scanning the dojo in search of his Kusarigama. Don merely shrugged at me, muttering a small ‘deserved that’ and smiled as he turned around to fetch his abused bow. 

I couldn’t help but think of our missing brother for a second. It is a shame Raphael missed this. He would have loved to have seen that. 

Mike grinned as he picked his kusarigama off the floor and retook his stance. “ C’mon Don! I didn’t win the bet yet!” Said turtle only laughed, before making his way over to Mikey. “Who said you were going to win? I definitely did not-” 

Donny was cut short as our attention immediately snapped towards the entrance of the dojo, sensei’s voice had just boomed through the lair like lightning. 

“You are a **Disgrace** to this family, Raphael!” The yell had been followed by what sounded like someone getting hit. The three of us were out in the living room just in time to see our brother fly through father’s shoji and land in the pit with a loud smack. 

I was about to run towards my injured brother when the broken shoji slammed open and Splinter stepped through. His piercing gaze landed on Raph before it snapped towards us with a glare, freezing us on the spot. 

Never in my life have I seen master Splinter this angry, at least not towards any one of us, but seeing him glare at us like this, scared me. It’s when I noticed the rage and disgust aimed at my brother that I felt more confused than ever and I couldn’t figure out why, what could Raphael have done to deserve this?

A gasp escaped Mike as he and Don came up beside me looking just as horrified as I was. 

Raphael groaned and lifted himself up on one arm, the other wrapped itself protectively around his stomach where sensei had most likely kicked him. He was shaking, even as he lifted his head to turn his wide eyes towards our sensei and I could now easily see the large bruise forming on his cheek. I flinched as I realised that must have been from the hit we’d heard. 

Splinter’s breathing was forced, coming out in harsh exhales, his shoulders were shaking in repressed anger, hands balled so tightly the knuckles had probably turned white under all the fur, but what was worse was the anger aimed towards my brother. 

I didn’t understand any of this, what in the world was happening?!

“You have been nothing but trouble for years now and we have forgiven you too many times! This disgusting secret you have bestowed upon me is where I will draw the line once and for all!” There was no mercy as I saw a flash of finality flash through his eyes and he lifted his paw in the direction of the lairs entrance. “Raphael, I will give you no more than 10 minutes to collect your belongings and leave this family, before I throw you out myself!"

I froze as I realised what that meant, I wanted to speak up, come to my brother’s rescue, but I couldn’t seem to find my voice. I could merely watch as my red banded brother managed to push himself back up onto his feet, eyes wide with disbelief and terror. “W-What?! Y-Ya can’t do that!” He took a step towards our father, but flinched and stepped back as our father’s glare seemed to intensify.

“Now, Raphael! Do not make me repeat myself!” Splinter seemed impassive as Raph stared at him in horror as realisation sunk in, our father was serious. He wasted no time as he turned around and dashed towards his room, disappearing into the hallway before any of us could even utter a single word.

Behind me I could hear Mike and Don gasp in terror and I knew the three of us were looking at sensei as if he had just lost his mind and as far as we know, he had.

I growled loudly and I stepped further into the pit, coming to a stop a couple foot away from him at what I hoped would be a safe distance. I glared at the side of our father’ s head, but he didn’t seem to notice me.

His gaze was fixed on the hallway in from of him, the one leading towards our bedrooms, the one Raphael had disappeared into. His arms were now crossed before his chest and he seemed to be counting as he impatiently waited for my brother to finish packing. 

The thought of my brother leaving, made me even angrier and I had yelled at my father before I even realised it. 

“What the hell is going on?!” My voice was harsh, just like sensei’s had been and it was oddly satisfying to watch his gaze snap towards mine, completely shocked at my outburst. I was never one to curse, not to mention question my father’ s orders, but **NO ONE** hurts my brother! Not like this! And especially not without a damn good reason. And I hardly doubted that whatever Raph had done or said deserve this treatment.

Splinter however was not happy about my outburst, but seemed to let it go in order to glance at his watch before returning his attention back to the hallway. “Do not interfere Leonardo. This is not your battle.” His words were meant to be final, but I was absolutely not going to let this go!

“It definitely is when my brother is involved!” I was going to demand answers, but Mike seemed to beat me to it. He and Don had apparently made their way towards me and were now standing on my right. They seem just as angry as I was, but the underlying fear was unmistakable. 

“You can’t throw him out! What does that even mean?!” Mike was doing the best he could to keep himself together, but flinched and unconsciously took a step back as our father turned his glare towards my baby brother. Donny instinctively stepped in front of him and placed a hand on his shaking shoulder, shielding him from our father. 

“That, Michelangelo, means that your brother has been disowned from this family and has been banished from our home.” It was incredible how he could make something so awful sound so casual, as if it happened every day and that scared me for some reason. 

**“WHAT?!”** The three of us had all but screamed our disapproval, but sensei didn’t seem to care at all as he merely glanced at the clock and irritably looked back towards the hallway again. 

“You cannot just do something like that! He is our Brother! Do we not have a say in this?!” I have never seen Donnie lose his cool as badly as he did when he just screamed that. Fists clenched and eyes furious as he glared at our sensei’s head. He looked as if Sensei had completely lost his mind, but then again, I think we all did. 

Splinter looked back at us again, glaring sternly at Donatello. “I am the head of this clan Donatello. I decide what happens within this clan and my decisions are final.” The glare never wavered, not even when Don flinched and took a step back, forcing a trembling Mikey further behind him. 

Seeing this, only fuelled the anger towards my father even more and I took another step forward, successfully drawing his attention away from my brothers and towards me. 

“That still doesn’t give you the authority to kick him out like this!” Sensei’s glare met mine, but it didn’t matter. It has been a long time since a glare had any real effect on me. Living with a hot headed brother made me practically immune to them at this point, not to mention all the bad guys we’ve fought over the years, they all seemed very fond of glaring. 

I could see a flash of annoyance flash across his features and I knew my persistence was bothering him, I guess he wasn’t expecting this to become such a hassle. 

“W-What d-did he even d-do, for you t-to throw him out like th-is?!” I could practically hear the tears streaming down my baby brothers face, but I didn’t allow myself to break eye contact in fear of him refocussing on my brothers. They were distressed enough as is.

“Michelangelo is right. If you are really going to make him leave then we have the right to know why!” Donatello’s voice sounded tough, but the slight tremor in his voice was unmistakable. I could sense sensei’s attention slip, but I managed to hold his gaze long enough for him to give up trying to silently intimidate me. He frowned at my determination and once again turned back towards the hallway. 

“Your brother has asked me for guidance and permission to court another male! A sin I cannot and will not excuse.” My eyes widened in complete surprise and I am pretty sure all three of us looked towards the hallway in surprise, I never even knew Raphael was interested in anyone, let alone a male! I signed in relief, I had expected something extremely bad, but this? This wasn’t bad at all. Raphael finding someone he really liked was a good thing, no matter the gender!

The information made me happy for a second, until reality dawned on me and I realised exactly what that meant at this moment.

“Are you KIDDING me?! You’re kicking Raph out because he’s gay? That’s ridiculous!!” How could our father do this? Was he really going through with this because Raph doesn’t prefer woman?  
I stood there as I tried to gather my thoughts, to figure something out in order to fix this mess, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know what to do.

“Y-You can’t be serious…” Mike’s voice was a mere whisper, but I heard it loud and clear, even through my clouded mind. 

“You cannot punish him for falling in love! Did you not once tell us that love is a blessing?” Don’s voice sounded tough as he said that and I could sense him move towards me, abandoning Mikey in favour of grabbing my shoulder and shaking me slightly. I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at my brother, but his attention wasn’t on me. 

It was on Splinter and it was strange and unnatural so watch him glare at our father the way he was, but it helped me get my head back together as I too, glared at Splinter. 

“Not to mention how it can happen in mysterious ways. Isn’t that true, or have you just been lying to us?” Splinter scowled at us and closed his eyes in frustration. 

“I have never lied to you my sons and I will stand by what I had spoken at the time, but that does not stop the fact that homosexuality is unnatural, not to mention, very wrong. Therefor your brother must be punished.” I couldn’t believe it; our father was going to destroy our family over this? 

I was not going to let that happen! 

I closed my eyes and made a B line to stand in front of our father. Letting out a deep sigh, I calmed myself as best as I could and pulled my ‘fearless leader’ mask in place before opening my eyes and levelling my father with a steady gaze.

“There is nothing wrong about Raphael’s feelings. We are mutants that live in secret and hide within the sewers, we don’t know a lot of people that trust and accept us for what we are. For any of us to find someone; anyone; who isn’t scared by the mere sight of us is though. So, punishing him for finding and falling for someone is just plain wrong.”

Splinter looked at me as if I had grown a second head and was about to lecture me about how wrong that statement must have been, but stopped before he could. I took me only a second to realise why as I heard the tell-tale footsteps of Raphael’s feet running through the hallway. I turned my head to find him running towards the exit, his head down and a duffle bag flung across his shoulder. 

I had never seen my badass brother look this frightened and I didn’t like it, at all. I had to stop him! I wasn’t going to just let him leave!

Without thinking I turned my body to face him and used the best leader voice I could master in this situation and called out his name. He seemed to slow down slightly and steadied my gaze as he lifted his head enough to look up at me. “Raphael, don’t you dare leave this lair. You are not going anywhere you hear me?” 

The tone of voice forced him to instinctively stop even though he looked at me in genuine surprise and terror. He opened his mouth and immediately closed it, his bottom lip trembled as he tried to force the words out and it took him a few seconds before he could and I couldn’t help but growl when de did. 

“L-Leo. I-I can’t stay. I g-gotta go.” It pained me to see him this way, especially as he tried to sound reassuring even though he was breaking apart in front of us. It was obvious how the thought of leaving us was destroying him inside, but he wasn’t fooling anyone. 

I couldn’t let Splinter Kick him out! He is part of this family, our lives, our team! Whatever sensei said didn’t matter, WE NEED HIM, _I_ need him!

But my command didn’t matter, fear always wins over panicked minds and Raph’s instincts told him that the only way to escape this was to follow father’s orders and get out of the lair, as fast as possible. So, with a pained expression, he turned and once again bolted for the door.

Panicked, I turned towards my two youngest brothers for some kind of idea and the second my eyes met mike’s soft blue ones an idea pops into my head. 

I had only managed to get Mike’s name past my lips before he was off. No other words were necessary as he bolted forward, grabbed his kusarigama and swung the chain towards Raphael.

The chain easily tangled itself around the turtle’s waist and pinned his arms against his sides. Though it successfully captured him before he could leave the lair, I didn’t help him calm down at all.

Father’s attention snapped towards me and he growled low in his throat. “I told you not to interfere Leonardo! Do not make this any harder than it has to be.” His furious eyes glared into mine, but quickly snapped back towards Raphael, who was fighting against the chains in a futile attempt to free himself.

I didn’t know what Splinter was planning, but I had to stop him now before he made things even worse.

With that I Stepped in between him and Raph, successfully halting my father’s next attempt at removing my brother. I took a moment to calm my anger, trying to keep the ‘fearless leader’ in place for a little longer. Thankfully, it only took a few seconds and I once again catch Splinter’s eyes with my steady gaze. 

“Raphael is not leaving Splinter. He is staying right here, where he belongs. Raph is our brother and we love him, _nothing_ is going to change that.” I could sense Don and Mike step up behind me as if to prove my point and support my decision. That’s when the lair fell silent as Splinter looked at us in shock and anger, it was obvious he didn’t know how to react to that, but I’m sure it wasn’t going to last for long.

So, I took that moment of silence to look behind me and check in on my brothers. Mike and Don’s focussed and controlled gazes were on me, ready to act at a moment’s notice should it be necessary and I felt a sense of pride run through me at their dedication to our team, our family.

I let my gaze slip past them and connect with the emerald green of my immediate younger brother. He had finally stopped struggling and was silently watching me with wide and surprised eyes, he was no longer scared or terrified, but grateful and something else that I could not quite place.

He opened his mouth as to say something, but before he could the silence was already broken with an angry huff and I reluctantly tore my gaze from Raphael to turn back and face Splinter once more. 

“You will not feel that way once you find out, Leonardo. Falling in love with a male is one thing, but to-” Splinters voice sounded rough and controlled, this was his last resort and he knew it, he was going to completely out Raphael in order to; hopefully; change my mind, but I wasn’t going to let him.

I said goodbye to the self control I had managed to maintain until now as anger had finally won this battle and I snapped. 

“STOP IT! You do not have the RIGHT to call him out for something as stupid at this, let alone for you to spill whoever it is that he has fallen for! And to call him a _disgrace_ on top of that?! How DARE you?! Raph is by no means a disgrace! The fact that he would even ask _anyone_ for help; on his _own_ ; shows that he truly cares for the guy!” I Didn’t even care that I was yelling, Splinter has gone too far and I will protect my brother even if it’s the last thing I do! “And if anyone is going to tell us who he is, it’ll be Raphael himself when he is damn good and ready to do so!” 

Splinter’s eyes flashed, expression going manic and I felt a shiver run down my spine nearly forcing me to take a step back, but forced myself not to show any discomfort and managed to stand my ground. 

“How dare you defy your SENSEI! I should-” I threw my head back as the discomfort immediately changed into annoyance and I let out a growl in frustration, how many times do I have to repeat myself before he gets the message?

“You are not our sensei nor our father anymore, _Splinter_. A true sensei wouldn’t disrespect his students like this, nor would he care whether his students are gay or not. So, unless Raphael is planning to confess his undying love to the Shredder, I’d have to say that it’s none of our concern what he does with his personal life!” The venom in my voice kept Splinter from replying and I turned my back to him as I looked towards my brothers.

Three pair of eyes found mine and I immediately notices Donny and Mike had sneaked closer towards Raphael as if to guard him. They had most likely found it necessary to do so as Splinter turned more dramatic and I was glad they had, you never know what can happen. 

I had made my final decision and turned to Donny first. “Donatello, get Raphael to the kitchen and help him calm down.” Next, I turned towards Mickey. “Michelangelo please put his belongings back where they belong and join them in the kitchen when you’re finished.” And last but not least my eyes went to Raphael, I gave him a small smile and mouthed a small ‘It’s going to be okay’ as Mike turned on his heels and pulled on his kusarigama to release Raph from the chains and pulled the duffel bag from the turtle’s shoulder, before dashing off into the hallway. 

Donny cautiously moved the last three steps backwards, eyes fixed on Splinter over my shoulder as he grabbed Raph’s wrist, but before he could do anything else Splinters voice boomed across the lair. “They will do no such thing!” He was yelling in a futile attempt to regain his lost control, eyes fixated on Raphael’s as he moved towards him. “Your 10 minutes are long since over Raphael, leave at once!” His outburst had caused both Don and Raph to freeze up. And I did the only thin I could do at that moment. 

I yelled Don’s name loudly as I unsheathed my katana and it was pure luck that Don jumped back into action as if jolted by electricity and quickly ran towards the kitchen, forcing a frozen Raphael to follow as he was dragged by the wrist. 

The old rat cried out and dashed forward to follow them, but my precious katana hit the ground at his feet before he could with a deafening thud, forcing him to stop in his tracks. His wide eyes were on my katana in pure shock and to be honest… so were mine…

I stood there frozen, staring at my katana, now embedded into our floor a couple feet away. I could not believe I had just done that, for years I had scolded my brothers as to not throw their weapons and here I am… I hadn’t even thought about throwing it, wasn’t even sure what I was supposed to do when it happened.

I was aware of Splinter’s eyes leaving the blade and moving towards me, but I was too stunned at my own actions to move and to the same. Not that it mattered, the air in the pit had drastically shifted.

I did see Mike’s stiletto shoot across the room from the corner of my eye and it forced me to shake my head. 

Slowly I moved myself upright and cautiously shifted my gaze towards Splinter. 

It seemed he had been waiting for me to do so as he began to speak almost immediately after my gaze met his. “I cannot believe my greatest student has defied my orders, Leonardo-” 

“But I can.” I seemed to have lost all my energy as I had softly replied. My eyes left his and fell to the ground, unfocussed. It was all too much… “You were a great sensei, Splinter. However, my brother’s wellbeing will always stand before your orders.” With that I closed my eyes and waited for the one response I knew was coming, the one I had always feared would come from him.

“You have disappointed me greatly my son.” I couldn’t stop the heavy flinch even after I had tried to prepare myself for it, my biggest fear had always been to disappoint my father, but I had never imagined it to have been like this, it rose so many mixed emotions. The disappointment hurt, but after everything that had just happened, it felt more… surreal?

I wasn’t quite sure what I felt at that moment, but the second he uttered the word son, anger was wat managed to take over, somehow. The way he said it made me feel as if he was trying make me feel disgusted at myself for trying to protect my brother. Like he was trying to regain my loyalty…

“Do not call me your son!” My head snapped up, showing no emotion as I looked him straight in the eye and unheated my second katana. “We have already showed you our answer towards your hatred at Raphael and if you cannot accept us for who we are then it is you who has to leave.” 

And that was it… Just like that Splinter stepped back and turned around. He didn’t even look over his shoulder as made his was towards the lair’s exit. “As you wish, Leonardo. Just remember, you will one day see this for what it truly is, Leonardo. A sin.” 

That was all he said as he disappeared and left me standing there, horrified at his abrupt abandonment. I hadn’t expected him to just walk away like that, he didn’t take anything with him, didn’t even look back!

Dejected, I make my way towards my lone katana and pull it from the floor. My eyes examined it for any damage, but it seemed to be perfectly fine. I caught a slimmer of my own conflicted eyed as I sheathed the blade and aimlessly stared at the hole in the floor for a little while. 

I felt like hours before I finally managed to lift my head and make the mistake of glancing at the lairs exit. So many emotions were running through my head, I mean I had just KICKED our father out! Howt was I supposed to feel at this point?! Confused? Angry? Disappointed?

I shake my head and make my way towards the kitchen.

“Love is not and will never be a sin.”


	2. damage control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in my original story I tried to write the chapters in his lovely accent, but I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea, so I decided to just write it normally and only put his accent in his “talking” for now. 
> 
> Btw. For those of you who’ve read my original story, I know I’ve made a lot of changes, but I wasn’t really happy with how some of the scenes played out, which is also why I quit working on it as it seemed to not have gone the way I wanted it too.

**Necessary mistake ch2.**

(Raph)

 

I screwed up…

I just wanted some advice, not this… chaos. 

I mean I knew I could’ve expected anything, but I didn’t think he was going to kick me out! Like literally kick me out of his god damn room! That fucking hurt you know! A hit, I can take, definitely deserved it too, but that kick? Mother fucker!

Anyway… I wasn’t expecting this conversation to go perfectly, I mean I had hoped it was going to be positive. Though I had imagined Something more like him sending me to the farmhouse to clear my head. Tell me he won’t allow it and force me to ignore it. Accept me and help me. OR… Oh fuck it! I don’t know what else he could’ve done, but this wasn’t it!

Thank god, my Brothers still loved me enough to save my sorry ass. They all looked so bad ass too, except Leo of course, he always manages to look bad ass when he’s serious. I’m pretty sure _I_ looked every part of a damsel in  distress, which I’m not sure my pride can take.

I was thankful for them though, I didn’t want to leave. Our life isn’t perfect, but I love it anyway. I need my brothers, no matter how many times I’ve fought, yelled or cursed them, I still need them. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I wasn’t allowed to see them again. Guess I’d probably try it anyway, never did play by the rules an I’m pretty sure Leo won’t even care if I’d break that one. Which would be a rare occasion. 

Anyway, here I am. At our kitchen table, slumped forward in my seat, my right hand and lover arm dropped on the table. I have my left elbow leaning on the table so I can use my hand as a headrest, it was blocking half my vision. Not exactly very comfy, but I’d already lost too much pride to just drop my head on the table and trust me I really want to.

Don had been very quick in dragging me into the kitchen, I thought he was going pull my wrist straight off! I’m thankful though, didn’t want to be in there and I’m glad to be out of Splinters range. I just feel bad for Leaving Leo alone with him out there, but it wasn’t as if my presence was going to improve the situation anyway. Leo was always good at handling bad situations, I just hope they don’t end up fighting. 

Nah who am I kidding?! Splinter wouldn’t hurt his best pupil… 

right?!

I feel strange, I’m still fucking shaking and I feel a little light headed, not to forget the throbbing in my cheek and the ache in my stomach. He hits pretty hard for an old rat that’s for damn sure. I can already feel the headache starting as a result of the ‘stress overload’ or whatever Don had called it. 

I gladly took the icepack Don handed to me and hissed as I pressed it against my cheek with a little too much force, but I couldn’t help but sigh in relief as it seemed to already numb the pain and stop the throbbing. 

Next, I feel a cold glass of water bump against my hand. I absently tap it with my finger, ignoring Don as he tells me to drink it. something about it helping? I wasn’t feeling well and I know it isn’t going to stay in there long if I was going to drink it, so I just continuously tap it instead. 

My genius brother eventually drops himself in the chair across of mine and with a pained groan buries his head in his arms on top of the table. I can’t help but feel guilty, I didn’t mean to drag them into this. I just wanted advice, not this. I never even knew Splinter could glare like that! Probably wont forget it anytime soon either. 

I know Leo’s right though, it’s such a stupid thing to get all mental over. Course there was a chance of him hating me, but not to this point. I mean all he had to say was no and I would have _tried_ to ignore it, forever. 

It’s not like I was happy about having these fucked up feelings in the first place! I didn’t want my brothers to know about it, especially not this way, but they reacted a lot better than I thought they would. Kinda thought they’d be disgusted too, but they ended up protecting me. 

Don’t get me wrong! I’m glad they did or I would’ve been in big trouble being on my own. I just didn’t expect Leo to stand up for me the way he did, totally defied the old man in every way. Don’t know about you, but that’s a shocker to me! Of course, Don and Mike did the same, following Leo, but still! Leo sure was fearless alright. 

“I…” The small voice made me blink. When did Mikey get here again? Damn, I keep forgetting how silent Mikey can be sometimes! I’m not used to it and it’s creepy…

I looked up to find my little brother occupying the chair next to Don, slouched in his seat, but still mostly upright. The kid looked really upset and it was easy to see he’d been crying. He shakes his head slowly as he tried to gather his thoughts. 

“I just…can’t believe it.” Don and I nod mutely, there is no arguing with that. This was all pretty unbelievable and I wanted to tell them I was sorry, but for some reason I didn’t have the strength to do so.

“I don’t think anyone can Mikey.” Don finally lifts his head up and leans back against his chair with a sombre expression and lifts his arm so he can drop a hand on Mike’s shoulder, trying to comfort our baby brother. 

“He always told us to…” He took a deep breath to try and calm himself down, but broke all eye contact and I could see he was close to tears. His small hand appeared from underneath the table to cover Don’s with his own to return the gesture. “Follow our hearts and now…” He looked guilty for a second, but it was gone before I even realised it and was replaced with an empty look. “Now I just don’t know what to think any more.” That got the both of us to frown.

“What do you mean Mikey?” I only managed to sadly stare at mike, he has always been the most emotional one of us and I was thankful Don broke the silence, because I still couldn’t seem to get my voice to work for some reason.

Mikey jumped up from the table and paced around the kitchen with Don and I eyeing him worriedly. He was thinking too hard again and it showed, you can literally see the thoughts racing through his head.

“Sensei taught us everything we know dude! How are we supposed to know what part of it was true and what part of it was just a big lie!” He finally stopped pacing and turned to face us, waving his arms in the air like a crazy person trying to get his message across. 

“I know.” Our attention immediately snapped towards the kitchen doorway, to find Leo walking in, looking absolutely tired. He silently motioned for Mike to sit back down next to Don and waited as Mike quickly did so. Leo then moved into the kitchen and came to a standstill behind the chair at the head of the table. He grips the chair tightly and focusses his attention on my orange brother. 

“Just because Splinter went back on his words doesn’t mean there was no truth to his lessens.” Mike blinks and frowns at him, not quite sure what to make of that. “Anyone is able to teach, Michelangelo, but it’s your choice whether you want to believe them or not.” Leo’s eyes scan over us for a second, trying to find the right words before focussing on Mike again.

“It doesn’t matter how/ _if_ you chose to believe it either. You can do research and find the truth yourself, you can make your own truth by listening to your own opinions and experiences or you can take the words for what they are, but you always have the choice to accept or deny them.” I think all three of us blinked at that and nodded in agreement. Splinter thought us a lot over the years and we’ve all had our own way of processing his teachings, but that didn’t always mean we agreed with him, we all had moments where we knew he was lying or just flat out disagreed. 

Leo may be a know it all, but he really knows what to say when we need it most, especially considering he doesn’t really talk all that much. 

It was silent for a little bit after that. until Don straightened up, his expression fierce. “So, what is going to happen now? Is-” The poor genius didn’t even get to finish his question as Leo beat him to it.

“I kicked him out.” His expression a combination of sadness and angry, his eyes firmly glued to the table.

Ooh okay, that makes sense… Whoa! Hold on a second… Did he just say-

“W-What?” Three pairs of shocked eyes stare at Leo. I jump up from my chair, almost throwing the thing to the floor at the speed.

I was couldn’t believe it! He kicked Splinter out?! No, no no no, no! This wasn’t supposed to happen! Fuck, what did I do?! Why did I have to open my damn mouth?!

Leo shakes his head and tiredly rubs a hand across his eyes, releasing a pained groan. He pulls the chair back and drops onto the seat, dropping his head in his hands. 

“Well maybe not exactly that.” I could hear him sigh while he rubs his hands across his head. “I gave him a choice, sort of. I told him to leave if he couldn’t accept us for who we are and… He just… Walked away.” I stared at my brother with wide eyes, he gave our father an ultimatum because of me, because I couldn’t keep my feelings in check and my damned mouth shut.

“He simply walked away? No goodbyes? Nothing?” Don had always been one for elaborated explanations and it seems like Leo’s vague description just wasn’t enough. Not that I really cared any more, I just felt conflicted. Splinter tried to kick me out fist, but he’s still our father…

Leo simply nodded his head from behind his hands, Dealing with Splinter must have been hard for him, considering he’s actually hiding. It almost makes me feel like were scolding him. 

“I didn’t have a choice, it wouldn’t do any of us any good if he’d stayed, not while he couldn’t accept this. I didn’t think he’d just leave though, he didn’t even pack any of his belongings.” Leo’s sombre voice made it pretty clear the confrontation had been tough on him too, it can’t be easy to stand up against someone you’ve admired so much.

“Did… Did he say anything?” I was surprised at the sound of my own voice, but was glad I finally managed to say something. 

Leo nodded weakly, I had a vague suspicion as to what it could have been. I don’t know why a small part of me thinks it can be something positive while I’m pretty sure it is something bad, meant to make us feel like were at fault here. I guess in his eyes, we are.

“He called it a sin…” Leo removed one of his hands and used it to ‘quote’ the last word, but seemed to trail off at the end and I couldn’t help but feel as if he wanted to say something else. Not that it matters. Not really. 

He called my feelings a sin and maybe he was right. I knew I shouldn’t have these feelings, but it never made me feel wrong when I’m with him, if anything it just made me feel really nervous, among other things…

I couldn’t help but feel angry though, I never asked for this bullshit! I Didn’t even want to fall in in love with the guy in the first place! I wanted to talk to Splinter about it because I’d hoped he could help me get over him. Hoped he could make me realise it was just a stupid crush and nothing more. I was so nervous that I ended up rambling and asked him for permission instead. 

Now were all paying the price! Can’t I ever do anything right?! Why do I always mess things up so god damned much?!

I slammed my hands on the table, almost breaking it and I swear something’s gotten into my eye because they started to sting and cloud up for some reason and I’m damn sure those aren’t tears! They’re not! Don’t even get it into your damn head! I don’t cry, _ever!_

“I knew it! Shoulda neva said anythin! This is all ma fault! I shoulda just kept my fuckin-” I couldn’t stop myself… couldn’t hold the anger and frustration in any more and I just stared yelling.

But before I knew it, a hand was covering my mouth, successfully silencing me mid sentence. Another hand immediately gripped my shoulder and forced me back down onto my chair.

“STOP it, Raph!” I was going pull away from Fairless's hold but I stopped and glared as two pair of hands covered ma balled up fists in a soft hold an I quickly screwed ma eyes shut. I didn’t want to look at my younger brothers right now, I didn’t need to see their fucking pity. Damn it! Can’t they just let me run to my room or something? I don’t need them to _comfort_ me!

An I swear there’s a god damned leaking pipe above my head or something cuz I am damn sure there ain’t any fucking tears sliding down my damn face!!

I suddenly shudder as Leo’s hand releases my shoulder and slides it across my neck towards the other and his second hand moves from my mouth to grab the chair besides me and sits down. His gentle eyes stay on me and he doesn’t remove the hand on my shoulder, just lets it comfortably rest there. His free hand even comes to rests on my elbow at the edge of the table. 

I felt like a little kid crying over a nightmare and I hate it. And the worst thing is, that whatever they’re trying to do is working… God damn it! I just wanna run to my room and hide until this al blows over, or I figure out how time travel works. 

“Raph, it’s okay. This is not your fault, it’s no one’s fault. You can’t keep your feelings hidden forever. You had to tell someone sooner or later. Splinter may not have been able to accept it, but we can.” He’s never really been the touchy-feely kinda guy, but Leo’s always had a way with words. Maybe not always the words themselves, but the tone of voice usually gets the message across. Outside of the times where we just don’t care or when I’m just too pissed off…

But it was working, well that and the hand on my shoulder and arm are pretty distracting too. Don and Mike are still holding my hands hostage as well, rubbing against the knuckles in hopes of helping me calm down. 

“It’s not as if something like this can stay hidden forever.” The way Leo’s voice went from kind to serious was frightening and I immediately froze. What was that supposed to mean?!

My eyes snapped towards him in shock and confusion and I was about to open my mouth when I noticed his attention wasn’t on me any more. He was looking towards Don and Mike for some reason. 

Huh?

The two of them look pretty nervous all of a sudden, which I didn’t really understand. What were they hiding?

“W-what do you mean L-Leo?” Don’s attempt to sound honestly innocent and confused came out as a mere squeaky stutter. It would have made me laugh, but both Mike and Don’s hands left mine and disappeared under the table in a nervous gesture.

Confused, I turned back to Leo, who was still eyeing them with that serious look, though it did seem to look a bit more caring than serious. How does he do that? 

“I meant it when I said I don’t care about what you do in your personal lives and I’ll always love you guys, no matter _what_.” Leo’s gaze didn’t waver, not even when Mike fell backwards out of his chair and fell to the floor with a loud thud or when Don groaned pitifully, slammed his head on the table and covered his head with his arms in a vain attempt to hide himself. 

What the hell was going on here?! 

“When did you find out?” It was a mere pitiful mumble that managed to escape Don’s hiding spot, but Leo paid it no mind. The hand on my shoulder and arm left and instead crossed themselves over his chest, not at all faced by their weird actions.

Why are they acting so weird? What is there to find out? There is no way Don and Mike could have been hiding something! Right?! I mean they haven’t been acting weird or anything lately. They’ve been the same as they’ve always been!

“Not long after it started.” Leo’s answer came out casually, no anger or disappointment, just a calm casual statement. And Don, who’s head, to my startling surprise, shot op like a madman, looked anything but calm. 

I jumped as something slammed against the table, before two wide, disbelieving eyes peeked out from the table top. 

Don jumped up from his chair and pointed at Leo in disbelief. “Y-Your lying! You could n-not have known for T-That long?! And… How?! We were so careful!” The geniuses hands were flying all over the place at this point, kind of like Mike’s were earlier… Just weirder…

“You might be able to keep it from Splinter, but not much gets past me.” Don’s flailing arms immediately froze mid-air. His baffled look disappeared behind a green hand as it connected with his own face. He groaned before letting himself pitifully drop back into his chair.

I felt kind of sorry for him and Mike, who was looking at Leo as if his pet had died. 

Leo finds out about pretty much everything, he even found Mike’s secret cookie stash! He has a knack for figuring out what’s going on around here, which can seriously get under my skin sometimes. Not that he knows everything, we all have our ways of keeping things secret though, which is pretty easy for me cuz the two of us are always fighting so it’s kind of impossible for him when it comes to me. 

“Of course it doesn’t!” Don groaned from behind his hand and slouched back in his chair, defeated.

Why are they all acting so fucking confusing?! At least tell me what they’re talking about!

“What?” It was out of my mouth before I realised it, but it didn’t matter. None of them seemed to have heard it…

“We’re so sorry Leo!!” I almost fell out of my chair in surprise as Mike flew across the table and awkwardly enveloped Leo in hug. “We were just so scared of you guy’s reaction so we just…” Mike trailed off at the end, looking pretty guilty. His mouth opened and closed a few times, but it didn’t look like he was going to finish what he wanted to say, so he turned to Donny instead.

Don sighed and straightened himself again, regarding Leo with a soft expression. “Thought it would be best to keep it a secret. However, you are right Leonardo. Something like this was bound to be figured out at some point. One of us was eventually going to let something slip.”

The two youngest exchanged a quick look before Mike's guiltily turned back to Leo.

“I know we should have just told you guys and get it over with, But uh, thank you for not telling anyone though, Leo.” Mike seemed to almost crush Leo in an awkward hug to show some kind of gratitude. 

Mike eventually released Leo and was surprised when the blue banded leader loosely grabbed his shoulders before levelling him with an soft expression.

“It’s alright Michelangelo. I understand how you two must have felt.” Leo exchanged to look with Don and smiled at the geniuses relieved expression. 

It all looked so kind as well as strange, because... I have no fucking clue about what the hell they're fucking talking about!!! 

Feel about what?

Oh, Damn it all! Don't talk about confusing shit without informing me and continuing to ignore me!

“Well I don’t! Could _someone_ PLEASE tell me what tha hell is goin on ere!” Apparently my brothers have already forgotten I was even here if the surprise is any indication. 

I let my gaze travel from brother to brother, levelling their confused gazes with my irritated glare. It was when I got to Don that the purple ninja chuckled awkwardly and scratched the back of his neck.

“I uh… kind of thought it was obvious by now,”I growled lowly at him, how was any of this supposed to be obvious?! They weren't making any fucking sense, just acting freaking weird! “But considering the trauma you just experienced-“ I cut him off with a snarl an scoffed at the smile he gave me, but before he could explain further, Mike jumped away form Leo to vault back across the table towards Donny. 

The hyperactive turtle practically tackled the poor genius, who thankfully saw it coming and managed to stay upright, and yells, “Don and me are Dating!”

What?!

Mikey seemed to sense my shock and seemed to guiltily stare back at me.

Tha Fuck?!

THAT’S it? God! NOW it makes sense! If they would've just started with that then I wouldn’t have been so fucking confused!

Wait, hold on a sec… They're a couple?! 

“Are ya kiddin me?!” I didn't realise I'd yelled until I heard the chair I had been sitting on clatter to the floor. I'm pretty sure my outburst was unnecessary and the fearful expressions Mike and Don were supporting might have confirmed it, but can you blame me?! Splinter was going to kick _me_ out for the exact same thing they had been hiding!

Fuck! I should have just done the same damn thing! I could have just kissed the guy and hidden it from the everyone like they'd done! ...That is if he even felt the same.

Not that it mattered, even getting rejected would have been hella better than having Splinter try and _KICK_ me out for no real reason. Fuck!

“Raph!” A harsh slap to the back of my head snapped me back into reality and I looked back at the two youngest in shock. How the hell haven't I noticed before?! God it's so obvious!

The two of them had always been very close, could have known Mike wouldn't break his precious game stations! God he never even broke that damn music player and that thing is tiny as Fuck! 

Jeez. Was I really that caught up in my own misery not to have noticed the two of them hiding away in Don's lab practically every day?! They even go on supply runs together! And patrols...God damn it they go everywhere together!

Wait...

Does that mean...

“So I’m not tha only one? I-I thought I was-” A harsh poke in my side made me jump and snap my attention to the attacker on my left, who was levelling me with a harshly annoyed expression. 

“Don't you finish that!” We ended up having a small staring contest, a battle of will in which Leo practically dared me to put myself down and I was about to, but froze as his eyes narrowed into a glare the second he noticed my mouth twitch. 

I sighed in defeat and grumbled at the small smile Leo send me. I know the two of us fight a lot, but I can always count on Leo...

It was then that Mike just had to ruin the moment by jumping over the table _again!_. Only this time it was to pounce on me instead and I growled in mock annoyance as my littlest brother enveloped me in a chocking bear hug.

“Leo is right, Raphie! No being mean to yourself! Sides, Donny said it’s very normal to fall in love with a dude, dude!” I frowned and looked down at Mikey who had stilled himself. He was no doubt repeating the sentence in his head, frowned and went to correct his strangely put sentence when Donny cut him of.

“Michelangelo is right. Falling in love with a male is very common in both animal and human society. That and we might have been raised as brothers, but we are not actually related.” Donny exchanged the information with a gentle smile and motions for Mike to release me, which he did after a few seconds.

It, thankfully, allowed me to process the information a little easier.

We're not related by blood? Well I guess that could easily be true, Splinter did buy us in a pet store from a tank filled with little turtles, so who is to say any of them were related. Though how did Don....?

“Whoa, wait. Hold on a minute there Donny.” I suppose Leo came to the same conclusion and seeing how Don seemed to freeze up, it was supposed to be a secret. “How did you figure that out exactly?” Oh yes, it was meant to be a secret alright. The genius looks at us nervously and distractedly fiddles with his fingers. 

“I uh…did a DNA test… after I… Y-You know! D-Developed f-feelings…” He trails off at the end, a red flush crossing his features.

Though.

He did a DNA test? That's actually a very smart idea, not that I could have done it, but it you know, smart to check.

I sneaked a glance towards Leonardo and is it just me or did he look relieved too? Probably just glad to know Mike and Don can be together without worrying about incest or something. I mean that has to be it right? What other reason would he need to be relieved?

Though... maybe...?

“Raphie, I uh… We…” Mike's small voice helped me snap back to reality and I turned to look at the very nervous looking kid. I frowned as I just stood there, watching him trying to find the right words. I turned my attention towards Don, rising an eye ridge in question. 

The genius smiles softly, mumbling a soft: “Thank you.”

it leaves me confused more than anything. Why are they thanking me exactly? I just end up blinking stupidly.“What for?”

“For having guts.” Mike looks at my confused expression with a raised eyebrow, as if it should be obvious. Again, I turn to Don for a better explanation. 

The genius snickers.

“Mikey and I were afraid to tell either one of you and while we were trying to find the courage to do so, you were already speaking with Splinter about the same problem. By your self! We weren't even capable of doing that together.” Donny clasps a hand on Mike's shoulder, who smiles sadly up at him. “It would have ended up being worse that it has already become, considering his reaction towards your confession.” 

He definitely had a point there. I was only asking Splinter for advise, the two of them were way pas that already. 

“Right. Confessing your already months long relationship would have gotten an even worse reaction then this.” Leo had his eyes closed an shook his head as he admitted the sad truth. 

So they are thanking me for doing the one thing they were to scared to do? Guess that makes sense, Doesn't mean it makes this situation better. It does mean Splinter would have lashed out worse if it had been the two of them. Not to mention I only wanted to discuss the feelings themselves not the actual relationship.

“So… This was gonna happen anyway? No matta who’d do it?” The only response I got were a couple of sad nods. Damn that’s messed up! We were going to lose someone because of this bullshit no matter what. 

Maybe I shouldn’t say this, but in a way, I’m glad it was me. I mean Splinter was an amazing sensei, but without my brothers, especially Leo, I’d be totally lost! They've had my back in numerous occasions and Splinter never even really went with us to go topside, he just locked himself in his room all day. 

“Well this sucks! Our lives 're so fucked up!” I sighed and slammed my head against the table in frustration. Stupid turtle luck!

“That’s not completely true.” I Turned my head to look at Leo as a sign that I was listening. He send me a soft smile before he continued. 

“I admit a lot of it is fucked up considering everything we’ve gone through, but we are still here! Together, the four of us and the two of you being together isn’t a problem.” Leo shoots them a smile, but stares at me as if I was supposed to say something, it honestly just leaves me confused. “Right?”

Oh! He’s asking me if I’m okay with them being a couple?! Well yeah, of course I’m fine with them being together. I’m kind of hoping for the same thing! ...well not with the two of them, but that was kinda obvious.

I nodded before crossing ma arms across my plastron and lean back in ma chair. He nodded in relief and gave me a small smile. Damn that’s cute… uhh... anyway…

“Outside of that we’ve got a couple of amazing friends who would gladly get their asses kicked in a fight against anyone just to help us out. We’ve got an awesome lair, vehicles, gadgets and so on! Besides Raph, were mutants and we’ve got a lot more than most humans would kill for.” Well, damn...

I suppose he's right, we're not as fucked up as I thought we were. Outside of all the enemies we've made over the years losing our sensei might not have been the worst of it. Granted, he was in a big part of our lives, but he didn't do much more than teach us how to fight.

“So true dude! How many times did Casey get his ass kicked trying to keep up with us?” We all couldn’t help but laugh at that. I couldn’t even count how many times he’s got his ass handed to him in practice alone. 

Leo gets up from his chair besides me and walks over to the fridge, he rummages through it for a few minutes, grabs whatever he was looking for and turns back towards us. 

“We might have lost our sensei, but that doesn’t mean we’re fucked. We’ll get through this, we always do! Together.” With that he slams a can of been down in front of me. Uh...Did he just give me beer?! He hates me drinking! He's always lecturing me about it!

I blinked and looked up at him, confused. He didn’t really explain himself, just grabbed my glass of water an dropped it in the sink. 

“Now drink up and get some sleep! God knows we need it.” He patted my shoulder and turned his attention to the others so I could drink my beer.

Oh! He knew I wasn’t going to drink the water so he gave me this instead! Hoping I’d at least drink that so I’d get some fluids into my system and who knows the alcohol might help me sleep tonight! Not that I think fate will be that kind…

“We’ll figure everything out tomorrow.” All three of us nodded at Leo’s decision, we all needed some time to think an hopefully get a little shuteye. Whatever we were going to do about all this could wait until morning.

Don an Mike both stood up and awkwardly asked Leo if it was okay if they shared a room and I swear the guy's eye twitched before pushing thee both of em out of the kitchen. 

“Are you kidding me Don? What have we just been talking about? Go share a room if you want to, I really don’t care.” I couldn’t help but laugh, this was just too funny! It’s as if the two of them couldn’t believe that we’re really okay with this an Leo looked at them awkwardly with a slight blush, he probably had no clue about what ta do, but the blush sure as hell was cute!

He glared at me for a second before he remembered something and ran back to the kitchen door to call out to Donny. 

“Don’t forget to update April and Casey on the situation tomorrow, don’t tell them more then they need to know.” I had no idea what they said, but seeing as Leo nodded it was something like ‘I will!’ or not.. I have no idea, couldn’t hear em.

Turning back to my beer I decided that I might as well try an drink it, I don't really feel like throwing up any more and I gotta admit it will probably feel good to have something in my system. I look back up towards Leo, as I cant shake the feeling of his eyes on me and yes, he is looking at me with those calculating eyes again. 

He walks back over to the table an sits down in the seat Donny had been using, gaze not leaving mine. Shoot! I swear if he doesn’t stop looking at me like that imma snap! 

“Ya dun have ta wait fer me ya know.” Sneaking a glance at him I could see him looking pretty worried, probably wants to make sure I’m okay or something like that. Stupid over-protective brother! 

“I know. Just want to make sure you’re alright.” See! Always worrying bout us, though I have to admit, it can be kinda cute at times… Dammit! There I go again! Focus Raph, this is not the time to think about that!

“I am Leo, I mean it.” He just glares at me and crossed his arms, clearly not convinced. 

I groaned and drop my head in my hands, eyes glaring at my beer. Guess I have no other choice but to be honest, or he will be up all night worrying about me. Though I don't think he will be sleeping much anyway, tonight has been rough and he'll be up all night pondering about it. 

“Just a bit shaken up I guess.” He nodded slowly, and gestured to my beer to make sure I didn’t forget to empty. Not like I am going to forget, I might even get a few more...

Nah I’m probably going to get those weird ass dreams again if I do. I do not want to make everything harder for myself.

“Think you’ll be able to sleep?” Really Leo? I thought it was kind of obvious I wasn’t, but then again, that’s Leo. Always making sure.

“Doubt it.” He sighs, pondering bout something for a second before looking at one of the cupboards, stands up an walks over to open one of the cupboards. He moves a couple a things around before pulling back with sigh of relief. He turns back towards me, giving me an embarrassed smile. 

“Want one of Dons sleeping pills?” I blink... He held the bottle up so I could see it properly and there it was, even had the ‘insomnia pills’ written on it with Don’s writing. Donny probably made them himself.

Sleeping pills...

I guess I could try that, one pill wouldn’t hurt right?… At least I’ll be able te sleep for the night and work this shit out with a clear head tomorrow. Can’t be falling asleep while my brothers try to come up with solutions for the shit I’ve caused.

Yeah Yeah I know! Was going to happen anyway… Stupid rat.

Looking back up at my brother, I noticed he had already sat back down and placed the bottle on the table for me in case I needed one. How come they were in the kitchen instead of Don’s lab? I thought he keeps all the medical supplies in there… does that mean Leo uses them? It does kinda explain the embarrassed look he’s giving me.

“You use those things?” He scratched the back of his neck is discomfort, looking like it's something he'd rather not explain.

“Well yeah, I have to or Don will kill me.” I frowns as he grimaced at the thought. Has he been sleeping so bad he needed pills? That doesn’t sound good…

“How so?” His gaze left mine as he tried to find a way to change the subject, I growled before he could try. I watch, amusedly, as he opens his mouth and closes it right after and cheer internally. Hey! That doesn’t usually work! 

He sighs in defeat. I snicker internally. I’m getting better at this! Good thing too, becaus I need to know what’s up with the poor guy.

“It’s a leader’s curse I guess. There are just to many things plaguing my mind, it’s not easy to fall asleep while they keep coming back.” He signs sadly and stands up to grab a clean glass of water so I have something ta wash the pill down, if I end up taking one. “That and I am a light sleeper. So it either wakes me up or keeps me up. Had to promise Donny I would take these when it’s necessary.” With that he set the glass down and takes his seat once more. 

Didn’t look like he was going to explain any further, not that I expected him to. He does look kinda tired though. suppose I would look the same if I’d have a rough time sleeping.

Then a thought hit me… Did he mean his thought wake him up or did he mean he has nightmares that wake him up? Because if it’s the second one then that means it’s not just thoughts plaguing him, but fears an insecurities too. If only he’d talk about them instead of holding everything in... Because, you know, that’s kinda my job and it doesn’t really do me any good either, just makes me angry mostly. It's also why I take it out on my training and the bad guys… and Mikey…and Don… and uh… Leo too… but only because he fights back and won’t go down that easy… or at all… angry me is easy to take down… that and my crush is making it harder to focus…

“That’s not healthy Leo.” He gave me a small smile and no I did not blush! I just looked at him straight in the eye, daring him to deny it. 

“I know. That’s why I asked Donny for the pills.” Huh? I blinked, confused. Leo lowers his eyes to the glass of water in embarrassment. 

“Ya asked em for those? He didn’t have ta force ya?” Leo just looked back at me and laughed at my confusion. Great, guess me looking surprised is funny…

“Yes I asked him myself, not that he hasn’t noticed, but I am this team’s leader Raph. I can’t let you guys down so I have to make sure I get enough sleep and don’t get sick, so if these pills will help me stay healthy then so be it.” Idiot! Just Because he’s our leader doesn’t mean he can’t get sick! Getting sick happens to everyone. Hell even I’ve been sick a couple of times. But uh… Leo… asking for help? Well that’s gotta go in the book of records! 

“It’s only normal ta get sick Leo, we’ve all been sick. Sides we ain’t babies, we’ll be able ta take care of ourselves for a couple a days, we dun need ya ta bottle feed us!” I half-heartedly glare at him as he laughs at my joke. Damn I really like his laugh! Sounds nice to hear him laugh and who knows maybe it might ease his mind a little!

“I know you don't.” Satisfied with his answer I drank the last bit of my beer and threw it into the trash can. There was a comfortable silence which is a good thing, if only I could help him sleep easier… Well I got a couple of good ideas but I don't think he’s going like those... Hey! I got the right to dream about it! I'm not going to throw myself at him, not unless he wants me to… 

“You should vent more Leo. Ya know, get rid of all tha pent up energy, s’ what I do.” He blinked, thinking bout it, but before he can start telling me that’s what he has been doing, I’d decided te make sure he knew what kind of venting _I_ mean. “An I dun mean meditatin or practicin kata’s, ya gotta really tire yerself out Leo. Go fer a run round tha sewers or spar with one of us, trust me it helps! Sides all three of us would love tha chance ta beat yer ass.” I smirked as he nodded slowly, considering my suggestions. Might not sound like much but I fall asleep like a rock after a good workout.

“Can’t worry bout shit if yer tired.” I smirked as he smiled gratefully. Guess my little tip might be useful for him after all! It's not really Leo’s thing to take advise especially when it comes from me, but he still does. Though, only if it sounds useful or necessary.

“Heh I guess you’re right, meditation is not really helpful when it comes to ‘venting’.” We both laughed for a minute before Leo stands up an pats my shoulder to thank me. And no I am NOT blushing!...

“Well I am off to bed, night Raph!” With that he makes his way to the kitchen door.

I Snapp myself back into reality and quickly mutter a “Night Leo.” before he’s reached the door. He turns his head back around to look at me and gave me a sweet smile and waves before he's gone.

With a happy smile I turn back to the bottle Leo had placed on the table. I actually feel like I could fall asleep on my own and that’s kinda odd, guess the whole ‘not your fault’ thingy and the little talk with Leo might’ve lifted my spirits a bit. But I don't wanna risk it and have the guys worry about me in the morning, so I guess I might as well take one just in case, don't want Leo to be disappointed either, especially after he just told me bout his trouble sleeping.


	3. Breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who have been actually waiting for a new chapter, I'm sorry! I'm still not really happy with this chapter, but I can't seem to get it any better than it is right now, so i'm sorry! I also had a major issue with the ending of the chapter that kind of kept me from finishing it.

**Necessary mistake ch3.**

(Mikey POV)

Do you have any idea how hard it is to drag a sleepy turtle out of bed? Even if he wasn’t really sleeping?? Well I do! 

Don and me were sharing his bed cuz my room’s a little messy… Ok fine! Very messy….yeesh!

Anyway! We were snuggled together like, the whole night but I don’t think we’ve been really sleeping for… uh 3/4 hours? And just before you jump to conclusions! We were NOT doing anything nasty, not like we would after the fiasco last night… 

Anyhow! I had to get out of bed to make breakfast for the guys at some point and waiting to fall asleep was not that much fun! Sooo~! It was only fair to have my genius get up with me, but he was NOT making it easy on me! I had to seriously pull the whole blanket of him and he still wasn’t willing to get out! He just hugged his pillow and I had to rip the thing out of his hands, I swear I even heard him growl! 

After that I only had to drag the dude off the bed and drop him on one of the kitchen chairs, give him some coffee and he’s wide awake! Well kinda, he was trying to focus on his paper, but his eyes are drooping! It looks so funny! And adorable!

Well, now that Don’s covered, I can focus on breakfast! Hmmmm… What will I make? Pancakes? Eggs? Toast? Or! I could heat up the PIZZA!!

I jump over to the fridge and happily open the door only to find my precious pizza already long gone! Nooooo! I wanna cry~

I turn around and pout, making my way towards the pantry to get the Pancake mix only to hear Don snicker at my luck. Great… What a mate he is!

It didn’t take too long to make breakfast after that and I happily place the pile on the table only to have Leo walk in as soon as it hits the surface! Talk about timing, dude! Now we only have to wait for Raph. Hmmm… maybe I should go get him….

Leo takes his seat at the table and I pile the pancakes on our plates so we can start eating, I swear my stomach is already growling…

“Where is Raph?” Looks like the coffee is working! Donnie’s gears are turning again and it looks like he wants to get this conversation over as well cuz he’s looking pretty nervous.

“He’s probably still sleeping.” Donnie and me look at Leo in surprise while he rubbed his eyes tiredly, guess he didn’t get much sleep either. 

Whoa! Hold on! How did Raph manage to fall asleep?! That is sooo~ not fair, I haven’t gotten any real sleep at all last night and I even had a Donnie-heater! And again, we did NOT do anything nasty! 

“He’s sleeping?” Haha, Donnie looks so cute when he is Surprised! He does this adorable blinking thingy with wide eyes before he frowns in confusion. “How in the world would he be able to sleep? Even Mikey and I had trouble falling asleep.” Leo nodded in understanding, he probably had the same problem last night and points toward one of the cabinets for some weird reason.

“Gave him one of those sleeping pills.” Donny blinked as he tried to remember what those were. Guess he isn’t as awake as I thought! Oh never mind, he’s doing that facepalm-thingy again…. Wait! Why are there pills in MY kitchen?! Those are not food material! 

“Oh, of course! That explains a lot.” The two of them nod, somewhat relieved Raph had gotten some sleep. He did go through a lot yesterday which was a good and a bad thing, but at least the fear of telling splinter is over with, for all of us.

“When will he wake up?” Not the hardest question I’ve ever asked, but it looks like the two of them don't really know and have to think it over.

“That will depend on the amount of sleep his body needs, but it will probably be around 8 hours if not more.” Donnie explained and looks at the clock to see what time it was so he could kinda try and predict when Raph would arise. What time did we go to bed again? Uh… never mind. I think it’s been around 7 hours…

“Well, that’s pretty soon right?” Donnie looked over at Leo cuz he was the last one with Raph last night. He thinks for a minute looking at the clock too before nodding. “I think so.” Well then we won’t have to wait too long for Raph to get down here.

Aaaaand~ then we just sat there in silence, eating, for what? Half an hour?! 

Well we are going to talk about our future right? You know try to figure out where to go from here? Can’t really do that without Raph, sooo we should wait till he gets here…

… 

…

Oh screw it! I am so not waiting for Raph, sides Don seems awake enough. We’ll just fill him in later! Right?! Gaaaah! I might as well ask… If they really wanna wait for the hothead then we can wait…

“Sooo… What are we going to do about Splinter not being here?” It was innocent enough; though Donnie sat up straight, blinking. He looks pretty uncomfortable and nervous aaaaaand is it just me or does Leo look sad? As if he knows something he doesn’t want us to know, but has to tell us anyway?

“Uh, shouldn’t we be waiting for Raphael before we discuss this?” He awkwardly points his finger towards said turtle’s room, gaze flickering between me and Leo. Ah damn, I really don’t have the patience to wait any longeeeeer!

Our fearless leader pushes his half eaten plate away, crosses his arms and slips his mask on. Why does he need a mask anyway? Well outside of fighting of course, cuz… Ok Mikey, Focus! He looks totally serious!

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before focussing his attention on Don, but his statement had us both blinking in confusion.

“There is no need Don.” No need? What does he mean no need?!

Donny stares blankly at Leo, frowning. “…How so?” 

Leo doesn’t really reply just stand up, gabs his plate and walks over to the counter. He places his plate in the sink, but doesn’t turn back around as he answered the question. guess his mask isn’t really working… 

“Because there is nothing to discuss about Splinters absence.” I have no idea what Leo is thinking, but I am pretty sure both Don and me just sit there looking at him stupidly.

What does he mean there is nothing to discuss? He was our sensei and our father! 

“What are you talking about Leo?” Voicing my thoughts out loud, Don stands up and walks over to the counter so he can stand besides Leo. He’s probably trying to read him or something, not that it’s going to work. 

Leo sighs deeply, turning his head away from Don’s piercing gaze and his hands tighten around the edge of the counter. What’s going on? Why is he acting so weird? 

“Splinter may have been training us to become ninja’s, but that’s about it.” That’s it? That’s not true is it? He’s just acting out because of last night…right?

“That cannot be right Leonardo. He is our father! He raised us from infants and he…” Donny cut himself off, stares at Leo with wide eyes and look of realisation, sadness and deception? Huh? That can’t be good! He looks like he just got something figured out that he didn’t want to know…

“Kept us in line, but besides that there is not much else.” My mate slowly nods his head, mind running a mile a minute as he silently agrees with Leo. 

I don’t understand any of this! Master Splinter couldn’t have only been keeping us in line, he has done a lot more then that!... But, then… why does it sound so unreal?

“What do you mean?” My oldest brother turns around to look at me for a minute. He opens his mouth a few times, trying to answer me, but ends up closing it as he scratches the back of his neck, thinking. My mate pats his shoulder and gives him a small smile before turning to me. 

“What Leo is trying to explain is that even though Splinter has raised us from infants, he has been teaching us to take care of ourselves and each other from an very early age, so he would not have to.” That doesn’t make any sense! Why would he raise us if he didn’t want to take care of us? 

“How?” He pushes himself off the counter, straightens his back and lifts his finger. Why does he always do that? I mean I love the guy and all but does he really have to do that every time he’s going to explain something?? 

“Well, he has been teaching us… Well mostly you, how to cook. He taught me how to fix the items which we have broken as well as how to gather useful information.” I couldn't help but glare at him. Useful information? I mean yeah its cute sometimes when he rambles on about god knows what, but that doesn’t mean its useful information! I don’t need to know how something works as long as it does what I need it to!

“He taught Leo how to lead us a team and how to help us as a brother.” Yeah that’s true thought the guy could seriously ease up every now and then!

“And Raph…uh…” And then he fell silent… He looked so confident a second ago, but now he looks like he doesn’t have the information he needs. He’s frowning and scratches his chin in concentration, but soon let his arm drop looking kinda confused. “… I got nothing…”

That can’t be true, right?! Splinter must have totally tought him something!... like the….Or that! No… My eyes widened as I realised the same thing Don had, if the four of us had a task within this team… then what was Raph’s?! I can’t remember Splinter teaching him any of the stuff he taught us.

“That’s because he never bothered to teach him, said he’s to suborn.” Huh? We know Raph is stubborn, but that doesn’t mean he’s not willing to learn how to help us out… right? Hold on! Did that sound like Splinter has talked to Leo about this? 

He looks like he has, his eyes are downcast and he looks really guilty for some reason. Guess he has known about this for a while then… OH! Now that sad-ish look earlier makes a lot of sense! He didn’t want us to know because it would make us feel bad. 

Leo seems to snap himself out his thought as he shakes his head violently and points his finger at me, looking totally serious.

“It doesn't matter Mikey. It was only a matter of time before you learned how to cook or Don how to take interest in technology and science or for me to lead. Raph did not need splinter to teach him how to find his role in this family; he found it on his own.” And with that he sits himself back down in his chair, arms crossed, looking pretty proud for some reason. Me and Don just blink at him for a second, totally surprised.

“He did? Then what is it?!” Leo smiles kindly as he motions for Donny to sit back down and waits until he had taken his seat next to me before explaining. 

“Well he might not show it much, but he cares about us. Even if he displays it in the strangest way possible. Remember when you had that nightmare and Raph hit you?” I glared at Leo for bringing it up, but nodded at him anyway. The nightmare woke me up and I went to Donny for a hug, but I ended up getting hit by Raph! How mean is that?! 

“You were so mad at him and ended up chasing after him for an hour, but in the end it took your mind off of the nightmare completely.” I was going to protest, but then I sorta realised he was right… it helped, but he didn’t have to HIT me! Guess Leo didn’t pay my almost protest any attention, cuz he points his thumb into Don’s direction, smiling widely.

“It’s different with Don though, I think he stole one of his computer cables so be wouldn’t be able to use it until he decided that he’d gotten enough sleep.” OOOOH! I so remember that! Donny had been so mad the whole time he even tried to steal it back until he fell asleep on the couch, not waking up until the next day. 

“Ooh! I remember that one! You’d been warning Don to get some sleep for a few days and then Raph stole that cable! That was totally hilarious, dude!” I laughed at the memory, well until Don hit me in the side with this embarrassed look. I gave him a hug and a kiss to his cheek so he’d forgive me, but then he looked up at Leo looking totally mischievous! He’s even smirking! OOOOH this is going to be good!

“Do not forget about yourself Leonardo! Remember him using one of the kitchen chairs to lock you up in your bedroom? Just because you were not feeling well and refused to get some rest?” Don and me burst out laughing at Leo’s embarrassment! He looks so red it almost matches Raph’s bandanna! And the glare he is throwing us is making it even better!

“Anyhow! What I was trying to explain is that Raph might not show he cares but he does… just a little more forceful then we’d like sometimes. You can see it as him protecting us from ourselves and keeping us on our toes. Besides his obsession with the Shellcycle was his own doing. ” Well that’s a good point. Splinter was never going to teach him about bikes because he always thought it was too dangerous or exposed for us to drive one and with Raph’s bad ass attitude he wasn’t going to kindly tell us to take better care of ourselves, that’s Leo’s job! So instead of _waiting_ for us to take care of ourselves Raph decided to take matters into his own hands! Could have been a _little_ nicer though!!

Hey! I just noticed Raph usually does it because Leo told us to do something without us really doing it. Like Don’s sleeping problem and my gaming addiction! Well that’s what Leo calls it, I don’t see the problem with gaming for a couple of hours every day! Though I gotta say most of his forceful protection in focussed on Leo, but that's only because Leo refuses to show his weaknesses. 

“Right! So Raphie isn’t such a bad guy after al!” Well it’s good to know Raph has found out what he’s best at and all but…“Uh… what does that have to with Sensei?” The two of them blink as they realise we’ve kinda gotten off topic here. Donny coughs and he brings himself back to the part they were supposed to be explaining. Not that the stuff we just talked about wasn’t important! 

“Right! Splinter has basically been teaching us how to handle everything ourselves. Like uh… Oh! When was the last time you have seen him clean the lair with us? Or help us with our injuries or nightmares? He has not even gone topside with us, not unless something really bad happened.” I frowned at him and, thinking back on it, realise he is right. Splinter hasn’t been helping us for a while now, ever since we started to do chores ourselves. Of course he still helps us when we ask for it, but he normally lets us do it ourselves after he gives everyone their tasks for the day… or was it week? No wait, the last time someone gave us chores it had been Leo… 

“Instead of helping us he insisted we ask each other for help and eventually we stopped asking him for help altogether.” That’s true too! I asked him if he could help with dinner, but he told me to ask if one of the others had time to assist me.

“Dudes I think you’re right!” I looked at my mate with wide eyes. Did our sensei push us away? Didn’t he love us? “Are we really that bad?” Donnie’s eyes widen before he pulled me into a comforting embrace and tries to reassure me. 

“No Mikey, I am sure that is not it. He is just-” Leo cut him off before he even started.

“It doesn’t matter Donny.” He stands up from his chair to walk towards our side of the table and places a hand on Don’s shoulder, trying his best to help lift our spirits. “Whatever his reason were shouldn’t matter, as long as the four of us are still here I won't care and it doesn’t matter either. This is going to be a new chapter of lives! We have to look at the bright side of things!” He smiles at us, but we aren't really sure if there is a bright side to this.

“And those are?” Leo chuckled, leaning his hip against the table. OMG did Leo just giggle?! Damn… now he's got me curious!

“Well the two of you can be together without anyone telling you off and now that Raph is… uh… _out?_ He won’t have to worry about that either, at least not around us. Sides don’t kids usually dream about having the house to themselves?” The three of us laugh as we got what Leo is trying to explain. Splinter always had a lot of rules, most of them not even needed.

“Haha ! Yeah dude! No more lectures about getting home late or sneaking out!” It’s true! I mean really? We go out to fight Purple dragons, Foot ninjas and Kraang bots, but if we get home later then he wanted we’d always get in trouble! Sides this city is not going to save itself so yeah we sneak out because there are people who need help! 

“Well it probably has a few upsides, but it is going to be very strange not to have him around any more.” Trust Donny to be the party pooper! But he was right, we might have been doing a lot of things on our own, but he was still a part of our lives.

“Well there is no denying that, dude.” Getting a nod from the both of them, we sat there in a comfortable silence as Don and me ate what was left of our breakfast. Leo eventually gets up and grab a clean plate. He throws some pancakes on it and walked over to the kitchen entrance. 

“Where are you going, Leo?” He stops in his tracks and turns back to us, blinks and frowns at us like it was supposed to be obvious. 

“Uh…I’m bringing Raph breakfast. Don’t worry I’ll be filling him in on our talk just now.” OOOOH! Of course! Raph still hasn’t come back down! So now he is going to bring Raph breakfast and tell him about our situation and then leave him to think things over! Leo is such a good brother! Annoying at times, but still a good brother!

With a nod Leo turns around and walks out of the kitchen, only to come right back, in what? 3 seconds? Must be a record! And you should see the look on his face! He looks totally embarrassed!! Totally hilarious. 

“Did you call April and Casey jet?” Donny looks a little surprised by the question, only to realise he forgot to tell Leo about it. 

Naaaw~ he is so cute looking all embarrassed! He looked off at the side and coughed as he fights the embarrassment down. 

“Of course I have. They will be coming over later today to see how were are doing.” Oh! Yeah that’s right they were coming over! April sounded so worried and Casey just wanted to make sure his best pal was going to be fine…Are they going to eat with us? What should I make?

“When did you call them.” Ugh that was a nice conversation! She put us on speaker so Casey could hear it too, no point in April telling Casey after we told her.

“Just before Mike and I went to bed.” Yeah that was not the best plan to be honest. God April was asking soooo~ many questions! And the guys call _me_ talkative! 

“How much did you tell them?” Is it me or does Leo look a little worried? Ok fine, not everything that happened yesterday was stuff they need to know.

“Not much, though I did come clean about Michelangelo and I. Told them Splinter left and that the reason as to why was not for us to explain.” Ugh do not remind me of that part! The two of them were yelling at us from the other end of the phone when we told them… Didn’t know Casey was so loud! No wait... I did...

“How did they take it?” Other than the yelling and the million questions? 

“A little shocked, but better than I thought they would. Though they’re pretty curious as to know why, but they won’t be asking about it, unless we explain it ourselves.” Took Donny a while to get April to stop asking about it, thank god Casey knew how to calm her down and they agreed not to ask about it any more. 

“Well that’s good I guess, don’t think Raph would have liked them to find out like this.” Are you kidding?! He would rip our heads off! 

Don and I nod at him in agreement as he slowly makes his way out of the kitchen again. 

“That’s exactly what we thought dude!” Wait a minute?! I glared at Leo’s shell, watching him leave. So it’s alright for them to find out about Donny and me like this, but not Raph? That’s so mean!!

Donny stopped him before he could walk past the door and for a sec I swear he was going to ask him that!

“Oh! Leo what will we do about practise? I mean now that Splinter won’t be training us any more.” Uh… good question! I haven’t even thought of that! We can’t stop training! I mean it is annoying to get up early to train and stuff and sparring matches against Leo or Raph are no real party either, but we need to uh… better our skills?... how else am I going to stay this awesome?!

“Don’t worry about that Don, I have been taking care of practise a lot more the past few months. It won’t be any different without him.” Aaaaaaand then he was off.

I looked at Donny for an explanation, he just tels me to trust Leo on this and that’s what I'll do. If Leo tells us everything will be alright then it is going to be alright. 

I smile mischievously as a thought hit me.

“Hey Boo! Wanna know who I think Raphie-boy is hitting on?”

 

\---

(Scene change Raph’s room. Raph POV.)

I think the Medication stopped working a little while ago, considering I just started having this amazing dream. I wasn't really awake yet, but I was getting there I suppose.

But then I heard this strange noise, like a door opening and then something that sounded like it hit a table. I could feel the presence moving, but through my sleep drugged mind couldn't pinpoint exactly who it was. It didn't feel threatening either so it wasn't as if it forced me to wake up asap. Not that I really wanted to care, it was a very good dream after all and I wasn't willing to let it go just yet.

The dream was slowly fading though as the presence slowly started moving closer. I didn't feel rushed so it was probably one of my brothers coming to wake me up. I groaned internally at the thought, I just wanted to sleep some more!

My eyes snapped open as the presence suddenly bolted forward, hitting the wall, swaying my hammock as he collided with it. My wide eyes darted towards the intruder only to fall out of my hammock and onto the hard floor in pure surprise. It was Leo!!

What the shell is he doing in here?! Oh damn it! My eyes widen as I realise he looks completely surprised. Please don't tell me he knows what I was dreaming about! He’ll kill me!

… no wait, I don't think that’s it… Why is he turning red? He looks really embarrassed for some reason…

What's with the odd stance anyway? He’s got his hand against my wall and his other hand is gripping the string of ma hammock awkwardly, but uh… is it just me or is he holding his foot up slightly? 

“What are ya doin ere Leo?! Ya scared tha crap outta me!” I had yelled at him before I even realised it and I knew it was unnecessary, but he just woke me up from a very nice dream, so yeah, I'm cranky!

His embarrassed expression morphed into one of anger and irritation in 3 seconds flat. Uh-Oh, that can't be good. 

“Yeah well I was only going to wake you up and see how you were doing, not give you a heart attack. It’s not my fault your room is such a mess!” He jabs the hand clutching my hammock towards the mess on my floor, and yeah… it was bad…

“Oh…” I could feel Leo's heated glare on the side of my head and I don't blame him, my room looks like a battlefield! Damn.. I should really get the place cleaned up, it might make it easier to walk through here, I mean I did stub my toe last night. Not that it really matters, the only one that comes in here is me, though the others are allowed to come in if they've got food... or beer. Though I don't really mind Leo coming in here, at least I wouldn't if he'd wake me up nicer...

“Exactly.” Tearing my eyes away from the mess, I turn back towards fearless, trying to appear as if I don't really care, but I'm pretty sure he can see the embarrassment. 

“W-Well that dun explain why yer here in tha first place!” Good comeback Raph... Proud of ya buddy.

“I was bringing you breakfast.” Leo sighs as he pushes himself from the wall and straightens up, pointing towards my drawer housing a nice plate of syrup covered pancakes. “And I was going to fill you in on what Don, Mike and I have been discussing.”

“Y-You brought me breakfast?!” The last part didn't register at first as I stared at the plate in surprise. Leo got _me_ breakfast?! That's... new, but nice! I can't remember the last time he's done that. 

Though hold on a second. The three of em already had the discussion?!

“Y-You guys… already d-discussed it?” He gave me a soft smile as he patted ma shoulder in reassurance. 

“We did. There wasn't much to discuss, it had been more of an explanation of a couple of things.” With that Leo proceeded to explain what they'd been talking about, though I'm pretty sure he’s keeping something from me. They better not have been making fun of me! I’ll skin Don an Mike’s ass!

If what Leo said was true, then there weren't really going to be any changes. Sensei had been putting a lot more space between us than I'd thought.

“Uh… well that’s… good, I guess?” It isn't very convincing, but that's all I can really say about it. I kind of already knew Sensei had been leaving me be, just didn’t know he was doing the same to thing to the others. 

“Sort of. We Don't really have a choice, other than to keep moving forward.” He shot me a kind smile and I couldn’t help but smile back, I swear they’re contagious!... well to me anyway…

“So, what's gonna happen now?” My question was answered with a frown, which means that Leo has been so caught up with what's happening right now, he's forgotten about what happens next. It's okay though, this is hard on all of us.

I can't stop myself from scanning Leo's face as he thinks about a planning for today, he always manages to look cute when I catch him off guard...

I wouldn't mind going topside for patrol and hopefully get the chance to kick some ass, but that's not exactly what I need right now. 

“well, I supposed it's best if we take the day off. No patrol or training and uh, I don't know... Play a game? Watch a movie? April and Casey are coming over later as well, so I guess movie would be better.” I wouldn't mind spending the day with my brothers, considering it means Mike and Don will be partly occupied by each other, so they'll finally stop hogging Leo.

Wait... April and Casey?

“What?! Ya’ve gotta be kiddin me! What did ya tell em?!”My eyes widen at the thought of them coming here, knowing about what's happened yesterday. I'm not ready for them to know! I didn't even want my brothers to know, for fucks sake!

“ _Donatello_ didn't tell them more than they needed to know, Raphael. Nor will they be asking any questions about it either. Now stop worrying.” Thank god Don called them, if any one of us is good at explain this kind of thing it's Don, guy is smart enough to know what he can and can't tell others. 

“W-Who said I was worried!” Leo shot me a disbelieving smile, laughing softly and oh my god does that sound adorable! 

“Just eat your breakfast Raph and join us when you’re done.” With a small wave towards my plate, Leo hobbled his way around the mess that is my room to... Wait... hobbling?!

“Uh, no offence Leo but why are ya limpin?” With a frustrated sigh, irritated navy blue eyes turn to glare at me. ok... never liked that look on him...

“Listen Raphael, your room might not be as bad as Mikey's, but it is still a pigsty and because of that, I managed to trip over god knows what, nearly breaking my ankle and I almost knocked myself out against your wall if it hadn't been for your hammock.” 

I glance around my room and yeah... It is pretty bad... Yup... Glare well deserved....

Jumping forward, I grab Leo's wrist before he can hobble any further. My own worried emerald eyes locking with his irritated navy blue. 

“Fuck Leo, I'm so sorry! Are ya alright?!” I picked Leo up off his feet before I even knew what I was doing and dropped him onto my hammock, making sure he stayed put and wasn't going to fall off like I already had. My hands carefully grabbed his ankle, looking it over quickly.

I sighed in relief when I didn't find any broken bones, just a small sprain, which was good! A sprain doesn't take that long to heal up and that means Leo won't be mad at me!

A flush spreads across my cheeks as realisation hits me, maybe Donny was right and do have some sort of trauma shit, cuz that was way out of character! Thankfully Leo merely shakes his head in fondness before he attempts to get up. “Okay, so now that you've checked to see that I am fine, could you help me back down please?”

I sighed and scratched the back of my head. If I let Leo down he will just put unnecessary pressure on his ankle in order to make it to the living room. Leo knows that, he's lectured us about it before, but he never follows it himself, always putting himself last. “Alright, but ya ain't limpin back inta tha linin room, just gimme a sec.”

Leo tilted his head in confusion, but made no further move to protest, so I grabbed the plate Leo brought and quickly ate it.


	4. The talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off I want to thank Henderwhore4life for the lovely comments, I really appreciate them and I hope I'll continue doing the story justice. 
> 
> I did actually have most of the story done after i rewrote the last one and decided to just finish it today so i can put it up quickly, I am not sure when the next chapter will be re-written, but I will do my best!

**_Necessary mistake ch4_ **

(Raph POV.)

Well considering the fact that Leo twisting his ankle was my fault and seeing as he was only trying to bring me breakfast, it was only logical to help him get back into the living room, but that didn’t mean it was going to be easy. Having Leo close this was torture, the feeling of his arm around my shoulders and the closeness of it all was seriously getting to me. 

The fact that Mike and Don are laughing at us isn't making it any easier, it did give a good reason to drop Leo onto the couch so I could crack my knuckles and glare at them, Shutting them up surprisingly fast. It also gave time to clear my head, though it didn't last very long... the only empty spot was besides Leo apparently. 

I grumbled at the unfairness of it all while I dropped myself onto the couch as well and I was about to complain about what now when Mickey shoots up, bolting for his bedroom. He comes back out shortly, grinning from ear to ear while holding the board game April had gotten him a while ago. 

Our human friends seemed genuinely happy for Don and Mickey, they did ask them a few questions, but outside of that just left them at it. It gives me a lot of hope about my own situation. Should have known they would react positively, they were our friends after all.

We decided on having a nice, simple movie night to get all of us settled into the new situation. Donny had disappeared to go gather all the movies while the rest of us stayed in the pit and annoyed each other. When Don finally came back with the big box of movies he seemed to begrudgingly hand it to Mickey who squealed in glee. 

A dangerous smirk was thrown my way and before I even had the chance to warm him, Mike had thrown all the DVD's at me, laughing manically. I yelped, guarding my face from the onslaught. 

I blindly gabbed on of the DVD's the moment the onslaught was over and chucked it at Mickey, who had unfortunately shielded himself with the box he was still holding. Don sent me an apologetic smile even though I only glared at him for enabling the trickster. 

The genius bent down to collect the DVD I'd thrown and announced we were going to watch 'the fifth element' first. So thats what Mike ment when he said we were going to pick a movie at random! I growled and chucked a few more in Mike's direction, grinning when one of them managed to hit him square on the forehead. Ha! Serves him right! It was totally worth the punch to the shoulder form Leo. 

Casey was laughing his ass off of course, the jackass. April merely shook her head, pinched Mike's cheek when he was close enough and Don silently made his way to the DVD player. 

While Don was getting the movie ready, Casey decided to get comfortable on the beanbag chair and pulled April down onto his lap so they could snuggle. Mike Threw a couple pillows onto the floor so he can full the genius down next to him without him complaining about the hard floor. That left Leo and me on the couch together, maybe a little to close together... I should move now that there is more space...

The movie wasn't too bad, though the side comments everyone threw in made the whole thing a hell of a lot better. Even Leo had a couple good ones! We were just getting to this part where the girl got into trouble when Mike jumped up all of a sudden, turned around to face Don, got down onto one of his knees, stretched his arms out wide and dramatically quoted: “Don’t worry princes! I’ll save you!!”

Donnie's face heated up like crazy! I swear he got as red as my mask! He was looking at us from the corner of his eye, hoping we'd go easy on him. Though luck Donny-boy! 

We all burst out laughing, well outside of Donny of course, he just pulled Mickey back down and hit him on the back of his head. It's almost sad how easily Donny gets flustered. 

It wasn't until everyone started to quit down that I looked back down at the two couples. Mike and Don may have only gotten out yesterday, but the two of them looked content with each other, so do April an Casey. It left me with a feeling of envy. I wanted that kind of relationship too. Of course I already had someone I wanted to have that with, but he'd never feel the same way though. 

I glance at Leo from the corner of my eye, he was laughing at some remark someone made. He looks really good when he's laughing, makes him look more relaxed and happy, sounds nice too... I love it when he laughs, it just makes me want to Kiss him... is it me or did it just get hot in here?

Embarrassed, I look back over to the others, noticing how they were all cuddle up together, sure looks nice... 

Glancing back at Leo I wondered what it would be like to cuddle up together, to have him as my mate, to share the same room and wake up together every day, to kiss him whenever I felt like it, to be close just like the others are...

I was snapped out of my thoughts by Casey's loud cheering and realised I had been unconsciously reaching for Leo's hand. Oh SHIT! I pull my hand back as if I'd been burned and snap my eyes back towards the TV. They were fighting, which explains Casey's excitement and thank fuck for that! This could have ended badly! 

“Oh yeah! Go get em dude!!”

Not wanting to raise any suspicion, I joined Casey in his loud cheering and it seemed to be working as Mike joined in. The others just rolled their eyes at us and no I did not blush when Leo chuckled at us. But damn, was it cute! And I realised that as much as I don't want Leo to start hating me, I wasn't able to keep this a secret for much longer. I had to tell him, even it it's going to make thing awkward between us forever. 

Problem is, I don't think I can...

the three of us finally sat back down to watch the last parts of the movie, returning the peace back into the pit. It only lasted until the end of the movie as Mike challenged Casey for a spar, yelling something bullshit about being 'So much better than you!' and of course the idiot fell for it and it ended up with the two of them racing to the dojo. 

April disappeared into the kitchen to make some snacks considering she didn't trust Mickey's 'Special' snacks, not that any of us really did. Donny decided to make the best use of the break by get back to god knows what in the lab. I watched Don go with mixed feelings considering it meant he'd left me alone with Leo...

“You alright Raphael?” I actually jumped at the sound of his voice! WTF! I turned to face him and was met with a concerned expression. Wait... what was the question?

“Huh?” Leo chuckled and repeated the question when he realise I'd zoned out. “OH! Yeah, I’m good.” Fuck... It's a lie... Can't really tell him I'm just feeling lonely, nor that I have feelings for him, I don't have the guts to do that, especially now. It doesn't seem like Leo believes me anyway as if he can see straight through me. My blood runs cold at the spark of realisation in his eyes. Shit...

“Must be hard to see them be a lovey-dovey, right?” God damn Leo for always hitting the damn nail on the damned head!

The question was asked cautiously, as if he was afraid to offend me. I could only sigh, gaze drawn to the dojo doors. 

“S' not that bad, i'm happy for em.” And that was true! Everyone should have someone. I'm just glad the two of them found each other to chase the loneliness away, just sucks that I'm not that lucky. Though Leo's does usually make me happy, even though he doesn't know that and he might not be my mate, but I'm glad we are at least brother sort of friends... though... with all the fighting we do?... God we were so close when we were younger... Why did I fuck that up?!

“You're right, it's nice to know they've found someone.” He looked rather happy knowing the four of them were happy, it's nice to see them with each other, but the slight sadness in Leo's eyes was sort of expected. He was still alone after all, even that thing with Karai thankfully didn't last very long, fuck man, don't know what I would have done if that actually went somewhere!

“Yeah...” Damn... I really, really, REALLY want to kiss him right now! And I would have if I wasn't so damn sure I'd ruin everything, 

“Don’t worry Raph.” Leo sat up straighter and tapped my knee in encouragement. “I'm sure he will love you back.” He smiled reassuringly, but it just wasn't working and I couldn't help the sceptical look from overtaking my features. He wouldn't say that if he knew it was him!

“Oh really? And how exactly did ya get ta that conclusion, Leo?” Leo rolled his eyes at my reply, shaking his head as if he knew I was going to say that. 

“Come on Raph! You are a great turtle, anyone would be lucky to catch your eye.”Aaaaand hello blush! That was… really…nice… Ah damn it Raph! get it together man!!

“PFFFF. As if! Freaked out s’ more likely.” I shook my head and crossed my arms, replying with the only thing I was positively sure was going to happen if I'd ever confess. Leo didn't seam to like that though.

“Don't be so hard on yourself Raph. I mean, yeah, you might seem a bit rough, but we all know you can be very kind to those you care about.” Oh, for the love god! Stop being so damn nice! I Fucking hate blushing!! I quickly move my head the other way to hide my embarrassment, hoping Leo didn't realise I was blushing. 

“Besides, you were more than willing to ask for help, which is more than enough proof to know you really like him.” Oh yeah and worked out perfectly! I would have been kicked out into the sewer if it wasn't for my brothers. Not that it would have mattered anyway! He isn't going to magically like me because I practically begged for help, though I would defiantly appreciate it!

“Just cuz I was askin fer help doesn’t mean he’ll like me back! Sides… knowin me I’ll be more likely ta screw it up anyhow.” Complete truth! Just look at Leo and I now! We used to be best friends and I screwed that up pretty much the day he became leader... I probably should not have told him that... Leo 'tsked' at me and shook his head in disappointment.

“Oh please, now you are just looking for excuses.” Excuses?! It's the fucking truth! I throw him a glare, but all I get in return is an unimpressed look, one I've seem many times before.

“I’m pretty sure you’ll be a great mate Raph.” Leo's statement caused me to freeze for a second. Me? a great mate? Yeah right! The only thing I've done so far is fight and disappoint him.

“Didn't peg ya for a liar Leo.”I had turned my glare towards the TV, because I know Leo is only trying to make me feel better and I shouldn't glare at him for it, but it just seemed to strike a nerve of some sort.

Unfortunately I didn't see the glare Leo sent me, I did however feel the painful punch against my shoulder which, unfortunately, managed to knock me off the couch because of my ignorance. Well... That's just embarrassing... I could only blink up at an angry Leo form my new position on the floor, thank you Mickey for the pillows, appreciate it man.

“I'm not lying Raphael! How dare you even say that! Just because you're being so incredibly insecure only proves my point. Besides, if you of all turtles went as far as to ask for help then that only means your feeling are getting stronger and you can't keep it under control.” An angry growl escapes me and I jump back onto my feel, glaring daggers at my brother. How dare he call me insecure! 

Leo sighed heavily and rubbed a hand across his face, obviously frustrated about my change in emotion. He stood up and took a step into the direction of the kitchen in a way of letting me know he was going to stop the discussion, before it could escalate further. “Listen, if you ever feel like you want to talk about this then I’m sure Don won’t mind helping you.” As If I was going to ask someone else for help out of my own free... wait... Did he just say Don? Whoa, that's new!

“Donny huh? Not gonna offer yer own advise Mr. Perfect?”Seriously Raph?! Here is Leo, doing his absolute best to help with something he is no good at and I just have to add salt to injuries... Good going man! Ah shit, he looks hurt too!

“Oh come on Raph, we both know I'm no good when it comes to emotions, but I am trying my best!”I looked at the ground, feeling a deep disappointment in myself. I know he's right, he's never been good at giving advice when delicate feelings are involved. He usually tried to avoid them or shove them towards someone else, someone who does know how to handle them. 

“I-I know... I'm sorry Leo.” The honest apology seemed to have caught Leo of guard if his wide, surprised eyes were any indication

“It's Uh... alright, Raph. Please, just remember that Don is in a relationship with Mickey so he has no right to judge you, no matter who guys is.” The small pause Leo gave as he gave me the advice showed me that he was a little thrown off by the apology and I mean... I can't blame him... don't remember the last time I apologised so honestly...

Leo did have a point though. Maybe I should go talk to Don, he might be able to tell me what I'm supposed to do at this point, though I kind of doubt he's going to appreciate me gunning for out leader...

“You might have a point though, Leo. Thank you...” I scratched the back of my head in discomfort as I seriously considered Leo's idea.

“That's alright, I just hope I could have been some help outside of us fighting.” Leo pats my shoulder and throws me a kind smile before he turns his attention towards the kitchen. 

“I should go help April with the snacks.” he didn't make a move lo leave yet, just slowly looked over at the dojo. “The two of them will probably be going for a while, I should keep an eye on them, before they end up injuring each other.” Leo was only mumbling and for a second I thought he was thinking out loud, but the small glance in my direction gave me the feeling as if he was trying to tell me something. 

I watched Leo turn away from me so he could limp towards the kitchen and I let my gaze travel to the lab, weighing my options for a moment. I could give it a go? He can't exactly get mad at me for liking Leo... That would be hypocritical, right? But them again, Leo is our leader so that does change things slightly...

wait! Leo is going to help April in the kitchen?!

“Leo!” My hurried and urgent voice had Leo turn to me with an annoyed glare.

“I'm not going to put the kitchen on fire again Raph! For crying out loud!!” Leo turns away for me again and resumes his hobble towards the kitchen in irritation. However an angry: “One time!” was yelled before he disappeared form view and I couldn't help but laugh loudly at the memory. 

The laughter quickly died down as I glanced at the lab again. 

With a heavy groan I managed to get myself in motion towards my genius brother, cursing myself all the way, which was thankfully not very far. I poked my head in just to check if he was even still there or available and to my luck he was... my purple banded brother was seated behind his computer, which means whatever he was doing could easily be saved and forgotten for another day.

I quickly knocked on the door before I lost my nerve and ran into the other direction. A thought which was very tempting.

I had to keep myself from laughing as the genius jumped before looking towards me, surprised to even see me. Oohps, guess the genius had been a little to engrossed in his work. He smiled anyway and waved me over, so I begrudgingly did, but not before closing and locking the lab door behind me. This was embarrassing enough as is, don't need the others to listen in. 

“Hey Raph! Are you alright? You look a little irritated.” Oh that's just great! Why does the genius have to point it out so damn bluntly?!

“S'Cuz I am.” He laughed at my glare and pointed towards the chair on the other side of his desk hoping I'd sit down, while he calmly saved his process and shut his computer off just like I knew he would. 

“Care to talk about it?” no, not really, but it's kinda why I even bothered to come in here, so...

“S' just Leo pressin buttns an bein right, as usual.” Not exactly the whole problem, but it's the only thing he has to know at the moment.

“He is only trying to help you know, though delicateness is not his strong suit, but that is just how he is.” He frowns as he no doubt remembers Leo's awkwardness in those situations. We all know how he gets, but it never seems to stop him though, he'd do anything to help us out, even it that meant stepping way out of his comfort zone. 

Donny seems to be lost in though as he stares at nothing for a moment, until a though strikes him and he snaps back to me. Ah shit....

“Is that why you are here? He tried talking to you about this mystery guy, which I am sure did not work out how he wanted. So he advised you to confide in someone else and knowing that Leo is obviously right, you irritably decided to listen-” Oh great, the genius just has to predict what happened and be right... again...

“And here you are.” I growled at the purple ninja and crossed my arms defensively. Stupid Donny looking all smug!

“Well it aint cuz I wanted ta, Leo made me!” It was apparently not very convincing considering he is rolling his eyes at me...

“…Of course he did…” The sceptical remark was met with silence and Donny quickly wrote something down on a notepad, before levelling me with his ‘how-can-I-help-you’ expression.

“So what did you want to talk about exactly?” Uh.... I stare at Donny with wide uncertain eyes. How am I supposed to explain something like this? It's not like I can just tell him!

“I …Uh, don’t … Know?” It's not really a lie exactly, but it's not the truth either. I have no idea how to start talking about this shit, not sure if I even really want to either.

“Don't worry Raph, no need to hurry.” My head met the table with a frustrated groan, followed by instant regret, because... Ouch! That hurt a lot more than I thought it would. Picking my head back up, I rubbed the sore spot in hopes of relieving the ache a little, it wasn't working... I shoot a glare at my brother's amused expression, to which he only responds with a wink. Bastard.

“It’s just that… This guy… He’s just… I don’t… How do I…” Oh for the love god! Just fucking shoot me!! If I can't even get the fucking words out, how am I supposed to get the damn advice?! A frustrated groan escapes me, a hands rubbing against my eyes and cheeks as a vain attempt to clear my head. 

“Know how he feels about you?” I blink and lower my arms back onto the table as I nod in sadly confirmation. It was _one_ of the questions I was trying to force out, but this works too I suppose.

“Well, you cannot truly know how anyone feels about you without actually asking said person, or mutant, whichever applies to you. I will assume he is not easily read or you would have most likely already made an assumption.” I almost chocked on my own spit as I shook my head head 'no' so fast I nearly knocked myself out of my chair. No way in hell was I going to fucking ask _Leo_ how he felt about me! Fuck, that! Fat fucking pass! 

“I will put that down as a no then.”Don is laughing at me... great...wait... hold on a second, what is that smirk for?! Don better not be making fun of me! He is not allowed to make fun of me dammit! He is supposed to help me! 

I was about to warn the genius to tread carefully, but he unfortunately beat me to it.

“You could always just kiss him and get it over with.” I did manage to fall backwards on my chair this time, accompanied by the girlies yelp I apparently could mange. 

Was he seriously expecting me to just walk over to the damn leader and just kiss him then and there?! Oh hell no! Not Happening!!

Picking myself up from the floor, while sending my bother a deadly glare, I sat the chair neatly back onto the floor and moved towards the lab entrance. No way am I going to stay here if Donny is make fun of me.

“Wait, Raph! I'm sorry! It was just a joke, calm down.” A long frustrated sigh filled the lab as I tried to calm myself back down. When I finally turned back around, I purposely cracked my knuckles just to watch him flinch and squirm , smirking broadly in satisfaction. 

“Ya better be, cuz yer insane if ya think imma do anythin like tha ya nerd! I wanna keep ma head where it is.” I wasn't really expecting him to look at me with realisation after I just growled at him, but then again that's Donny for you.

Oh! I think I understand it now!” Donnie wide, understanding eyes seemed to be boring into me, putting me more that just a little on edge. “You are afraid of his reaction! That's why you are so afraid of confessing. You fear he will react badly, resulting in you losing him completely, am I right?” The bluntness of the statement filled me with dread, though he did hit the nail on the head, again. A sad nod was all I could muster as I hung my had dejectedly. 

“However, you speak to this guy regularly and it is getting harder for you to control your emotions after each passing day.” All I could do was nod again, not trusting my voice to do as I want it to. 

“Have you considered… Just being nice to him?” 

What?

I lift my head back up to face the genius with confused eyes, internally wondering if my brother had actually gone crazy. “What do ya mean?” How was something like that going to help me? I already have issues being around him, that was only going to make it worse!

“seriously Raphael? Just be nice to him, start a conversation, watch a movie together, play a game, train together, go for a run or just go on patrol with him. That kind of thing, it does not have to be something big, just something the two of you can easily do together.” A frown crosses my features as I consider Don's advice. I could always ask Leo to teach me some new techniques or help me improve my stances or something. There should be something the two of us can talk about without starting another discussion. Hmm, it could work... Wait... Did Don just say... My eyes narrow at my brother as he flashes me an innocent smile. 

“You said training... and Patrol...” That was when the information finally managed to sink in and I buried my head in my hands to try and hide my embarrassment. “FOR FUCKS SAKE! Ya already knew who it was! Ya fucker!” The awkward little laugh was all I got from my younger brother. God I feel like an idiot!

“I am sorry Raph, Mickey had a hunch.” Mickey?! The knucklehead?! You have got the be fucking kidding me! I groaned miserably and leaned my head back onto the back of the chair, glancing at the ceiling in despair. 

“Mike figured it out? How tha hell did _HE_ figure it out?!... wait... ya knew?” I snapped my head back straight, levelling Donny with with my confused gaze, a reassuring smile awaited me as well as a slow nod. 

“And ya were still willin ta give me advice knowin imma try an get together with em?!” The second nod confused me. Why would he accept that so easily? I've spend days worrying about their reactions and this is it? Casual acceptance?

“Why?” Don laughed good heartily and shook his head. 

“I have no right to say anything bad Raph, Michelangelo and I are in a relationship together as we speak, which is exactly what you wish to have with Leonardo. Besides you seem genuinely drawn to him, so I can not see any reason not to accept it.” My brain short circuited as I tried to wrap my head around what the genius was saying, all I seemed to be able to do was blink. 

“You also do not seem interested in something meaningless, you have made that very clear.” I did? When did I do that exactly? Shaking my head roughly to get my thought back where they belong, I level my brother with a serious gaze. 

“So ya really dun care bout me gunnin fer Leo?” Don snorted and rolled his eyes, completely offended by the question. Well sorry! I was just trying to make sure he wasn't lying!

“No, not really. Honestly? A relationship between the two of you would be very beneficial and should in some way or form give both of you a sense of calm outside of battle. I truly believe you would make a great match.”A great match? Seriously? I would honestly love to believe the purple turtle, but all Leo and I've done is argue and fight in the last couple of years, with the exception of recent events of course. 

“Uh… I’m not really sure bout that Donny, we can’t even go a day without fightin an-” My argument was successfully cut off as a paper ball hit me square in between my eyes, with Don glaring at me from across the desk. Did he just throw a fucking paper ball at me?!

“That is not true Raphael, the fact that you seem to have been pushing Leonardo away b

“That is not true Raphael, the fact that you seem to have been pushing Leonardo away because of these feelings has caused you to be rather tense around him, resulting in the many fights. However you sneaking out without notifying any of us and the many times you have been out drinking with Casey did not help that either, especially considering Leonardo is very protective over us and worries about us every day. He knows he cannot force you to stay in the lair with us so the only way to show you he cares is through his lectures, but in the end that only worsens the whole situation.” Okay yes, Donny does have a valid point there, me being a stupid hothead and Leo a stupid worry wart does not help us at all. 

“So, in other words I’m screwed!” I bury my head in my arms and wallow in self-pity. God the two of us are a disaster! We continually edge each other on every time we talk to we have a conversation, this is never going to work!

“Not necessarily, all you have to do is be a little friendlier towards Leonardo and spend some time together, I am sure the both of you will be able to work things out and relax around each other in no time.” Looking back up at my brother with a frown, I stared wondering, spending time together with Leo? 

How am I supposed to do that? It's not like I can just ask him to go topside with me and get a drink or something, he'd never go for that, it's not really his thing. Watching a movie could work though, no real talking involved. We could always go out for a run or spar? It's just like practise! And if we do it before either one of us goes to bed then it might help him sleep better after, I did tell him he should do that after all. I doubt he's going to do it on his own, might as well make sure he does.

It's worth a shot...

“So what yer sayin is that I should start with his bad sleepin habbit?” I sat up straight as I ponder on how I should go about this, though Donnie's blush kept me from doing so. Why exactly is he blushing? And shaking his head at me? It was his idea!

“W-Well I think that m-might be t-taking it a bit t-to far-” Oh for fuck's sake! You have got to be shitting me. How the hell did he jump to that conclusion? We were talking about sparring and talking! I gabbed the piece of paper He'd flung at me and threw it back at him. 

“Not that kind a helpin genius! Leo an I’ve been talkin about em goin fer a run or sparrin before he goes ta sleep, cuz it might help em fall 'sleep easier!” The purple banded turtle lets out a deep relieved sigh as he realised my innocent suggestion and thankfully calmed down. I mean seriously?! I already told him I wasn't going to just kiss the guy out of the blue, let alone jump into the same bed to help him sleep! I mean I want to! And maybe I will at some point... if this ends well that is...

“O-Oh! Of course! That is a good idea, his mind and body should be exhausted enough for him to fall asleep easier. You should most likely start with that seeing as it is something beneficial for the both of you.” Exactly! We will probably turn it into a competition of some sort, which would make it more fun and easier to tire each other out, not to mention I'll get to spend more time with Leo. It should help us mend bridges, which is kind of the first step between us.

Though... Leo's already sort of tried to do so, without any help from me...

“Right I’ll start there then…” It was quiet for a little while after that, which I use to think things over a couple of times. Don's idea should work, not that I've got any other options anyway. I just hope I've got enough guts to confess to him at some point. Not too soon though, might be better to focus on staying friends, but after we get a little closer... or maybe a lot... just to be sure...

I glance back at the door, wondering if the others finished up already. Hopefully they'll still be busy. That reminds me! Those two knuckleheads are still in the dojo!

“Well I should prolly get to ta dojo an wipe tha floor with Case an Mike’s asses before they start ta get all high ‘n mighty.” Donny merely rolls his eyes at my antics, though he does point his finger at me warningly. 

“Right, just be careful with Mikey. I don't want him whining about it later.” The two of laugh at that, knowing full well it's true. The kid whines about everything! I swear he's even whine about eating ice-cream without some sort of weird dip. Thankfully though, he's not my problem any more!

I jog back towards the lab door and swiftly unlock it, but stop before I could open the door. I reminded myself to thank Donny for the help. He did give me some great advice and has been very helpful. Fuck man! I should have gone to him in the first place! Might have spared us a lot of trouble!

Oh who am I kidding? The old rat was going yo find out at some point anyway.

Scratching the back of my neck, I turning around enough to face my brother and with a lot more difficulty than I anticipated, I managed a solid: “Thanks Donny.” There! I don't say it often, but there it is! 

Donny looks a little surprised, but smiles anyway, giving me a small salute. 

“No problem Raphael, good luck!” Yeah, I am going to need that and then some...... 

“Yeah, tnx I’ll need it.” I turn back towards the door so I can open it, a quick glance around the pit confirms that yes, everyone was still busy. So, with a shaky sigh, I force myself through the door and run straight towards the dojo. I could really use a little exercise right now.

I couldn't stop the quick glance in the direction of the smoke free kitchen.

Please let this end well…


End file.
